Follow
Share

I can't stand it. She's threatening to leave, she's telling me she's going to fire me as her POA, she's telling me she's just fine to live alone with home health and that there's "no-one" at the nursing home she can talk to that's competent. She's also telling me that my dad is lying to me and that he hates his nursing home. He surely doesn't.


So what does she want to do? She wants to go live alone, talk to no one but her home health aides that Medicaid will only pay to come 40 hours a week, and spend the rest of her time watching TV in silence. She has gone only downhill, albeit slowly, with home health. But to her it's not a big deal because she was in her own place surrounded by her stuff.


I get it. NH are not ideal for folks in their 60s, but dammit mom its what you need! I am tired of fixing financial messes and living situations because her inability to live alone makes her life so unstable. She is on a special diet at the NH because she can't feed herself well and only wanted rich carby food at home.


If she lives alone with home health, she will fall, or have a bad-diet-caused heart attack, or something. Its aaaaaalways something with her. I don't expect her to live the next 5 years with home health. If she wants a comfortable life, she will need to be in a nursing home and maybe move to an AL if she learns how to walk again.


You think when someone hits rock bottom it'll only be once. She has hit rock-bottom MANY times, and I'm just wondering when she will decide that living alone will only bring her chaos again. For reference, because of her dissatisfaction with EVERYTHING, she has moved 7 times in the past year between different apartments and nursing homes and one house. That is the definition of instability.


I know there are no answers to this, I just needed to vent. I'm requesting her doctor to bring in a mental health specialist on tuesday. But she'll probably put on a mask and do a great acting job while she's being evaluated so I dont expect it to go anywhere.





This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
I don't think they will release her. She couldn't be in an NH if she didn't fit the criteria. Your Mom is in the best she can be now. An AL is not a place who can handle her problems. I think a psychic eval is a good idea.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Dear aj6044 - Vent all you need to - we understand and we care. Please stand your ground. You know she's where she needs to be. It is so stressful for you, but you are on the right course. I think of you often and pray you find the peace and the life dreams you so deserve. Hold on precious one, a better day is coming.

PS You should tell her you love her often - she'll probably have some nasty come-back - but do it anyway. You do, you know. You wouldn't be putting yourself through this if you didn't. Trust me, some day you'll be glad you did.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Your may want to have a gereatrict doctor asses her for dementia with you providing her or him with the facts like you have shared with us. I always talked with my mother's neurologist in advance because she was a great actress.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.

Ask a Question

Subscribe to
Our Newsletter