Follow
Share
If your mother is agitated, you can ask her doctor for some medication to calm the agitation. (The paranoia and accusations may escalate to other things.) This is for your mother's benefit, because that kind of suspicious and paranoid mindset is a terrible feeling for her. I'm sorry your family is experiencing this.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to MG8522
Report

Probably dementia. If so, you're in for a long haul because if not the chairs, she'd focus on something else. My friend who has dementia started out with claiming that her neighbor was stealing her wine. Then her daughter was stealing her clothes, including her underwear, and so was her sister. Then a neighbor was stealing tools from her garage, and our other friend was stealing pots and pans, her cookbooks, her recipes on a thumb drive, food, money, purse and anything else you can think of. Then this friend wrote a letter to her church groups, various other friends and relatives, former work colleagues and named all the people who were supposedly stealing from her. They were very hurt but could do nothing about it. She is sick.

If you're in charge of mom's health care, you can report this to her medical team and ask for diagnosis. You could still do that even if you aren't in charge. The medical team will not report back to you but will at least (hopefully) check her out at her next scheduled appointment.

Whatever you do, don't agree to take mom into your home. And don't move in with her! Her paranoia will present in additional ways and make your life and that of your family pure h&ll. This can only get worse and you may love love love mom, but love love loving her pre-dementia is way different than love love loving her post-dementia. My husband is presently in a dementia-care facility after taking care of him at home was no longer possible. I strongly suggest that you consider that for mom.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to Fawnby
Report

You don't. This sounds "unreasonable" at the least, and like dementia at the worst. If Mom is competent and not demented you tell her "That's unreasonable". If she is demented you tell her nothing much at all other than "Oh, next time we are there we will check on that..." blah blah. It is unlikely she will retain any of that, or even has any idea what she's saying to you.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to AlvaDeer
Report

Get your mother to the doctor for a full cognitive evaluation and go from there. This type of accusation is a classic dementia symptom.

Good luck to you.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to lealonnie1
Report

Does your mother have dementia?
If so there is no way you can convince her that your SIL is not taking the chairs.
If your mother is mentally ill again there is no way you can convince her that SIL is not taking the chairs.
So....
"Mom, "Betty" needed the chairs for a dinner that she is having she will return them when she no longer needs them"
"Mom, "Betty" is having her chairs re done so she needed to borrow yours she will bring them back when hers are done"

Do not argue with someone that has dementia it will only frustrate both of you.

Now because it is me...
If mom is living alone and if she has dementia she should not be living alone. She should either have caregivers with her, a family member or she should be im Memory Care.

If mom is mentally ill then talking to her doctor about hallucinations or if this is a change in her mental status her doctor should be aware.
And if there are other indications maybe test for a UTI as that can cause all sorts of problems with cognition.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to Grandma1954
Report

Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter