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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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If your mother is agitated, you can ask her doctor for some medication to calm the agitation. (The paranoia and accusations may escalate to other things.) This is for your mother's benefit, because that kind of suspicious and paranoid mindset is a terrible feeling for her. I'm sorry your family is experiencing this.
Probably dementia. If so, you're in for a long haul because if not the chairs, she'd focus on something else. My friend who has dementia started out with claiming that her neighbor was stealing her wine. Then her daughter was stealing her clothes, including her underwear, and so was her sister. Then a neighbor was stealing tools from her garage, and our other friend was stealing pots and pans, her cookbooks, her recipes on a thumb drive, food, money, purse and anything else you can think of. Then this friend wrote a letter to her church groups, various other friends and relatives, former work colleagues and named all the people who were supposedly stealing from her. They were very hurt but could do nothing about it. She is sick.
If you're in charge of mom's health care, you can report this to her medical team and ask for diagnosis. You could still do that even if you aren't in charge. The medical team will not report back to you but will at least (hopefully) check her out at her next scheduled appointment.
Whatever you do, don't agree to take mom into your home. And don't move in with her! Her paranoia will present in additional ways and make your life and that of your family pure h&ll. This can only get worse and you may love love love mom, but love love loving her pre-dementia is way different than love love loving her post-dementia. My husband is presently in a dementia-care facility after taking care of him at home was no longer possible. I strongly suggest that you consider that for mom.
You don't. This sounds "unreasonable" at the least, and like dementia at the worst. If Mom is competent and not demented you tell her "That's unreasonable". If she is demented you tell her nothing much at all other than "Oh, next time we are there we will check on that..." blah blah. It is unlikely she will retain any of that, or even has any idea what she's saying to you.
Does your mother have dementia? If so there is no way you can convince her that your SIL is not taking the chairs. If your mother is mentally ill again there is no way you can convince her that SIL is not taking the chairs. So.... "Mom, "Betty" needed the chairs for a dinner that she is having she will return them when she no longer needs them" "Mom, "Betty" is having her chairs re done so she needed to borrow yours she will bring them back when hers are done"
Do not argue with someone that has dementia it will only frustrate both of you.
Now because it is me... If mom is living alone and if she has dementia she should not be living alone. She should either have caregivers with her, a family member or she should be im Memory Care.
If mom is mentally ill then talking to her doctor about hallucinations or if this is a change in her mental status her doctor should be aware. And if there are other indications maybe test for a UTI as that can cause all sorts of problems with cognition.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
If you're in charge of mom's health care, you can report this to her medical team and ask for diagnosis. You could still do that even if you aren't in charge. The medical team will not report back to you but will at least (hopefully) check her out at her next scheduled appointment.
Whatever you do, don't agree to take mom into your home. And don't move in with her! Her paranoia will present in additional ways and make your life and that of your family pure h&ll. This can only get worse and you may love love love mom, but love love loving her pre-dementia is way different than love love loving her post-dementia. My husband is presently in a dementia-care facility after taking care of him at home was no longer possible. I strongly suggest that you consider that for mom.
Good luck to you.
If so there is no way you can convince her that your SIL is not taking the chairs.
If your mother is mentally ill again there is no way you can convince her that SIL is not taking the chairs.
So....
"Mom, "Betty" needed the chairs for a dinner that she is having she will return them when she no longer needs them"
"Mom, "Betty" is having her chairs re done so she needed to borrow yours she will bring them back when hers are done"
Do not argue with someone that has dementia it will only frustrate both of you.
Now because it is me...
If mom is living alone and if she has dementia she should not be living alone. She should either have caregivers with her, a family member or she should be im Memory Care.
If mom is mentally ill then talking to her doctor about hallucinations or if this is a change in her mental status her doctor should be aware.
And if there are other indications maybe test for a UTI as that can cause all sorts of problems with cognition.