My mother (93) has lived in an AL facility for the past seven years and has been happy there. She has recently stopped talking. Any advice?


She is mildly bipolar and most likely has some dementia. She reads the daily paper, goes to meals and reads books. She isn’t social and doesn’t interact with the other residents. She loves to play rummy and she plays well. I am an only child and am pretty much her only visitor. I try to take her out weekly either to my house or to lunch. She has very low affect. Lately when I ask her a question she shrugs her shoulders and she rarely talks. I realize that everyone is different so I can’t compare her to other residents her age or older who seem so much more normal. My husband says that I should accept her the way she is and be thankful that she functions well in on her own terms.

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Thank you for your replies. I think that I want her to be something she isn’t and can’t be. At age 93 I have to accept her the way she is and leave well enough alone.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to Susanonlyone

susane, I think that since your Mother "isn’t social and doesn’t interact with the other residents and has very low affect", that you don't need to worry about her not talking. If your Mother had been "very social and interacted daily/frequently with the other residents and talked your head off" then quit talking, I would have told you to have her see a doctor because there was such a dramatic change in her behavior. But since the change is so minor, I agree with your husband and "accept her (your Mother) the way she is".

PS. If your Mother does ever have a sudden and drastic change in behavior, then you need to have her checked for a UTI.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to DeeAnna

There you go. You got your answer:}
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to shad250