Depending on how long sis has lived with mom - mom may have to jump through legal hoops to evict sis. I hope someone has POA and that you have a dementia diagnosis which would make things somewhat simpler - but not necessarily easier. Know mom is going to fight tooth and nail to stay in her own home - ALONE.
If no POA then you or someone else will need to go to court and get guardianship to force mom out of house. If sister is successfully evicted, then call adult protective services to do a wellness check and go from there. Often, the "other shoe drops" forcing our hands. I hope you are able to do something before the proverbial other shoe drops.
You say in your profile that you are the only one taking care of your mother, even though you have a sister and a brother, so I am a bit confused. Is your profile wrong, and your sister in fact lives with her, and is her caregiver, or are you? It's hard to answer a post when there is conflicting information, but I guess I will start by asking how long your sister has lived with your mother? And has your mom been officially diagnosed with dementia, and are any of you children her POA? If not, like listed below, you may want to talk to an elder attorney to see what your options are. If it's moms house, and she hasn't been diagnosed, you may just have to wait until a catastrophe happens before you will be able to take any action, as she has every right to live in her house,(even if it's not in her best interest) by herself if she so chooses. If your mother is a danger to herself in her own home, then it's probably time to be looking into placing her in the appropriate facility, but again with no POA or guardianship it will be very difficult to do, unless your mother has a crisis. Best wishes.
Your sister needs to go speak with an Elder Care attorney right away. SHE has rights too, living with your mom, and can't just be kicked out on the street if your mother gets a wild hair up her butt and wants her out. The EC attorney can advise her accordingly, and also about possibly getting your mother deemed incompetent due to dementia/ALZ and perhaps placed in Memory Care AL later on down the road if she becomes a danger to herself at home. Does your sister have POA for your mom right now?
We're in a sticky wicket with these elders getting dementia/ALZ and us being somewhat old ourselves, trying to figure out how to care for THEM and for OURSELVES at the same time. Meanwhile, they're wreaking havoc left and right and causing us to have nervous breakdowns! Advanced old age in the 21st century is no joke. My own mother has advanced dementia & is thankfully living in a Memory Care AL until she runs out of $$$ at which time I'll have to apply for Medicaid to place her in a Skilled Nursing Facility for 24/7 care :(
Wishing you & your sister the best of luck finding a solution to this nightmare!
If she has dementia, and I am assuming by “old timers” that is what you mean, then under no circumstances should she be allowed to live alone. If she refuses to have someone live with her then the option is to place her in Memory Care. This is based upon the assumption that she has dementia. If she has not been diagnosed as such and you do not have POA then she can do as she wishes. You could report her to APS and they may do a visit and an assessment. You may need to obtain Guardianship in order to place her in a Memory Care facility
The only thing that I can think of is to report her to adult protective services, if she kicks your sister out. Say that she is a danger to herself. I am so sorry that you and your family are dealing with this challenging situation.
Well they ALL want to live by themselves.. LOL. If she has ALZ does anyone have a POA? I doubt she can just "kick her out on the streets" if sister has lived there for awhile.. and would she be able to do the things needed to do that,, like get a lawyer and file for eviction? Will her Dr back your sister up in the diagnosis? My Mom still thought she and dad could live alone in their 2 story home on 3 acres.. no way! Even after Dad passed and she had been living with us for 5 years she would still bring this up, and she did not have ALZ. Sometimes you just have to do what is best for them,, not what they think they want
If no POA then you or someone else will need to go to court and get guardianship to force mom out of house. If sister is successfully evicted, then call adult protective services to do a wellness check and go from there. Often, the "other shoe drops" forcing our hands. I hope you are able to do something before the proverbial other shoe drops.
Best of luck
It's hard to answer a post when there is conflicting information, but I guess I will start by asking how long your sister has lived with your mother? And has your mom been officially diagnosed with dementia, and are any of you children her POA? If not, like listed below, you may want to talk to an elder attorney to see what your options are. If it's moms house, and she hasn't been diagnosed, you may just have to wait until a catastrophe happens before you will be able to take any action, as she has every right to live in her house,(even if it's not in her best interest) by herself if she so chooses.
If your mother is a danger to herself in her own home, then it's probably time to be looking into placing her in the appropriate facility, but again with no POA or guardianship it will be very difficult to do, unless your mother has a crisis. Best wishes.
We're in a sticky wicket with these elders getting dementia/ALZ and us being somewhat old ourselves, trying to figure out how to care for THEM and for OURSELVES at the same time. Meanwhile, they're wreaking havoc left and right and causing us to have nervous breakdowns! Advanced old age in the 21st century is no joke. My own mother has advanced dementia & is thankfully living in a Memory Care AL until she runs out of $$$ at which time I'll have to apply for Medicaid to place her in a Skilled Nursing Facility for 24/7 care :(
Wishing you & your sister the best of luck finding a solution to this nightmare!
If she refuses to have someone live with her then the option is to place her in Memory Care.
This is based upon the assumption that she has dementia. If she has not been diagnosed as such and you do not have POA then she can do as she wishes.
You could report her to APS and they may do a visit and an assessment. You may need to obtain Guardianship in order to place her in a Memory Care facility
Best wishes to you and your family.