Sneaking in food is a good way to get the OP banished from the hospital and removed from having any say about her mother's care at all, especially when it is specifically against doctor's orders.
Yes I've been giving her pureed food until recently she started to choke & refused to eat then the doc said that she's dying & to stop feeding her because she won't can't swallow anything. They gave sponge to give water. 4 days without food & now she's hungry and want to eat keep repeating her self that she's hungry and wanting food. She can't speak but she make hand signs
Try soups, yogurt, mashed potatoes, oatmeal, scrambled eggs & grits, apple sauce, etc. Ask your mom what she wants to eat and take it to her. Cut it up in real small pieces for her. Please feed her. Sneak it in her room if you have to
Yes I've been giving her pureed food until recently she started to choke & refused to eat then the doc said that she's dying & to stop feeding her because she won't can't swallow anything. They gave sponge to give water. 4 days without food & now she's hungry and want to eat keep repeating her self that she's hungry and wanting food. She can't speak but she make hand signs
They said the same thing about my father. That we couldn't give him anything because of swallowing issues. He had a stroke and the nursing home said he would aspirate food or drink (that wasn't thickened) into his lungs. When he went over to hospice care they said he could have food and drink. I brought him fruit, he was drinking ginger ale, water, juice, even coffee. He was fine and regained enough strength that he was graduated out of hospice care. Maybe try your mom on some pureed foods like everyone has suggested and if she wants to drink, let her have regular drink with no thickener in it. Do it by the spoonful. Or see if she'd like a popsicle or something like that. Hospitals and nursing homes think they know everything, but they don't. When an elderly person is at the point your mother is at, why withhold food and drink if they want to have it?
I'm sorry about your Mom and this eating situation. You have received very good advice here.
I just want to add that in my life I have proven doctors wrong so many times. There are good doctors and not so good. If your Mom is hungry then puree something at home and bring it to her. That's what I would do and I wouldn't tell any doctor.
The doctor's reason is because she can't swallow anything? Makes no sense especially what GardenArtist wrote about dysphagia.
I don't want to stir up controversy but hospitals are horrible places to be when you are elderly and doctors are more apt to equate old with dying than to actually look at the individual. What took your mother to the hospital in the first place? Do you agree she is actively dying? In your opinion could she eat with careful management? It's going to be impossible to give her anything in a hospital setting without the cooperation of the doctors and nurses, you need to be able to present your case for trying as a quality of life issue if you want to reverse this OR have her discharged.
At first I thought she was dying but now I don't know. Maybe if Ill try giving her something to eat or maybe just soup for now. With all this information I'm getting, its ver helpful I'll try everything I can just to gain strength for my mum. She is a strong woman.
Hi Funnyone, where is your mother being cared for? I looked back in some posts but I don't see this information. Is she in a hospital or a nursing facility? You mention the doctor said not to give food but where was this advice given?
My father had to go without anything by mouth for several weeks in hospital. It was difficult to watch and uncomfortable for him. He was given IV fluids and after a few days he had a nasogastric tube for food, and seen by a specialist to determine his ability to swallow.
If your mother is on hospice care, I don't know they would take any of these life-prolonging measures. Where is she being cared for and what level of care is it? How did this swallowing issue come on? I think the situation could explain a lot about what the medical plan is for your mother.
You should never withhold food from someone, unless they are actively dying. And then the person won't ask for food anyway as the body doesn't need it, as it's shutting down. If your mother is having swallowing issues, then you should be pureeing all of her food and start feeding her just some small bites to begin with to see how she tolerates them. It seems cruel and inhumane to withhold food from someone who is hungry and asking for it. And if she doesn't tolerate the pureed food, you may want to talk to her Dr. about having a feeding tube put in, as it doesn't sound like she's in her dying process yet.
Yes I've been giving her pureed food until recently she started to choke & refused to eat then the doc said that she's dying & to stop feeding her because she won't can't swallow anything. They gave sponge to give water. 4 days without food & now she's hungry and want to eat keep repeating her self that she's hungry and wanting food. She can't speak but she make hand signs
I did a lot of reading and soul searching about food and feeding and my mantra is "never force, never withhold". People have often come to the forum despairing that hospice has starved their loved one to death when the reality is that most people who are at the end stage of life are not feeling hunger and can't process the foods concerned loved ones try to force on them. Since your mother actually wants to eat it IMO is cruel to withhold, if she is truly actively dying then chances are high that she won't accept more than a few bites anyway.
Thanks for that. The doctor said because she can't swallow we shouldn't give her anything but she is hungry and keeps asking us for food. It hurts me when she ask for food but I can't do anything. But I'll have a word with the doctor.
What kind of idiot doctor told you that nothing can be "given" b/c of a swallowing issue? Did he/she not explain what dysphagia is, how it's treated, and how food can be prepared for someone with a swallowing condition?
Is your mother in palliative care or hospice?
There are periodic questions and discussions here of dysphagia, a swallowing disorder. Many of us have gone through this with our parents.
There are also steps of different levels of providing nutrition for those suffering with dysphagia, which include "mechanical soft" to completely pureed food. I had to puree my father's food for the last several years of his life, after his dysphagia progressed.
You might want to review this article on dysphagia and the various foods that can be eaten, and the level of preparation to minimized "frank aspiration".
There also are exercises that can be done. The Shaker exercises helped my father during his first experience with dysphagia following long term reliance on a ventilator. These absolutely must be prescribed and demonstrated by a speech pathologist or speech therapist though.
This will help provide insight into swallowing disorders. They're diagnosed by a swallow test, which is done by videoscopic observation of the path fluids and small bits of food follow, to determine if they're being aspirated. A speech pathologist in my experience is the category of medical specialist to perform such a test.
You might also want to review these posts by others here on the dysphagia issue:
I'm really having a hard time understanding that a doctor doesn't even know the basics of dysphagia and would tell someone her mother can't eat b/c of that.
Yes thank you. I will discuss this with the doctor. Because it hurts when she keeps asking for food because she is hungry and I thought j can't do anything thats why I'm asking in here for help and advice I will have a read through. Thank you very much
Sorry, we need more information. Is your mother actively dying? Is she on Hospice care? When and why did she lose the ability to swallow? Normally, when a patient cannot swallow, a tube is placed to provide nourishment. I would think that this was discussed with the doctor?
Well the doctor told me that she was dying and can't give her anything to eat. But last night she was very uncomfortable and keep asking for food because she was hungry.
You've left out a lot of information so it's hard to know what kind of advice you need....
If she's actively dying, what's the worst that could happen? If she's not at that point then just because she's having swallowing difficulty doesn't necessarily mean she can't eat at all it just means she needs to have her foods modified according to her ability to swallow them - chopped, minced, pureed. (research Dysphagia diets) (my mom lived on a pureed diet for a couple of years and needed her fluids thickened to prevent choking)
The doctor said I can't give her anything to eat because she can't swallow but last night she was ver uncomfortable because she was hungry she keeps asking for food by hand signs.
When he went over to hospice care they said he could have food and drink. I brought him fruit, he was drinking ginger ale, water, juice, even coffee. He was fine and regained enough strength that he was graduated out of hospice care.
Maybe try your mom on some pureed foods like everyone has suggested and if she wants to drink, let her have regular drink with no thickener in it. Do it by the spoonful. Or see if she'd like a popsicle or something like that.
Hospitals and nursing homes think they know everything, but they don't. When an elderly person is at the point your mother is at, why withhold food and drink if they want to have it?
I'm sorry about your Mom and this eating situation. You have received very good advice here.
I just want to add that in my life I have proven doctors wrong so many times. There are good doctors and not so good. If your Mom is hungry then puree something at home and bring it to her. That's what I would do and I wouldn't tell any doctor.
The doctor's reason is because she can't swallow anything? Makes no sense especially what GardenArtist wrote about dysphagia.
Please keep us updated okay?
Jenna
What took your mother to the hospital in the first place?
Do you agree she is actively dying?
In your opinion could she eat with careful management?
It's going to be impossible to give her anything in a hospital setting without the cooperation of the doctors and nurses, you need to be able to present your case for trying as a quality of life issue if you want to reverse this OR have her discharged.
My father had to go without anything by mouth for several weeks in hospital. It was difficult to watch and uncomfortable for him. He was given IV fluids and after a few days he had a nasogastric tube for food, and seen by a specialist to determine his ability to swallow.
If your mother is on hospice care, I don't know they would take any of these life-prolonging measures. Where is she being cared for and what level of care is it? How did this swallowing issue come on? I think the situation could explain a lot about what the medical plan is for your mother.
If your mother is having swallowing issues, then you should be pureeing all of her food and start feeding her just some small bites to begin with to see how she tolerates them. It seems cruel and inhumane to withhold food from someone who is hungry and asking for it.
And if she doesn't tolerate the pureed food, you may want to talk to her Dr. about having a feeding tube put in, as it doesn't sound like she's in her dying process yet.
People have often come to the forum despairing that hospice has starved their loved one to death when the reality is that most people who are at the end stage of life are not feeling hunger and can't process the foods concerned loved ones try to force on them. Since your mother actually wants to eat it IMO is cruel to withhold, if she is truly actively dying then chances are high that she won't accept more than a few bites anyway.
Is your mother in palliative care or hospice?
There are periodic questions and discussions here of dysphagia, a swallowing disorder. Many of us have gone through this with our parents.
There are also steps of different levels of providing nutrition for those suffering with dysphagia, which include "mechanical soft" to completely pureed food. I had to puree my father's food for the last several years of his life, after his dysphagia progressed.
You might want to review this article on dysphagia and the various foods that can be eaten, and the level of preparation to minimized "frank aspiration".
https://www.gicare.com/gi-health-resources/dysphagia-diet/
There also are exercises that can be done. The Shaker exercises helped my father during his first experience with dysphagia following long term reliance on a ventilator. These absolutely must be prescribed and demonstrated by a speech pathologist or speech therapist though.
More on dysphagia:
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/dysphagia/symptoms-causes/syc-20372028
This will help provide insight into swallowing disorders. They're diagnosed by a swallow test, which is done by videoscopic observation of the path fluids and small bits of food follow, to determine if they're being aspirated. A speech pathologist in my experience is the category of medical specialist to perform such a test.
You might also want to review these posts by others here on the dysphagia issue:
https://www.agingcare.com/search?term=dysphagia+diets
I'm really having a hard time understanding that a doctor doesn't even know the basics of dysphagia and would tell someone her mother can't eat b/c of that.
Is she on Hospice care?
When and why did she lose the ability to swallow?
Normally, when a patient cannot swallow, a tube is placed to provide nourishment. I would think that this was discussed with the doctor?
If she's actively dying, what's the worst that could happen?
If she's not at that point then just because she's having swallowing difficulty doesn't necessarily mean she can't eat at all it just means she needs to have her foods modified according to her ability to swallow them - chopped, minced, pureed.
(research Dysphagia diets)
(my mom lived on a pureed diet for a couple of years and needed her fluids thickened to prevent choking)