My mom has been living in a skilled nursing facility for 2 years. Her new roommate for the last 4 months is somewhat non-verbal (she’s has a tracheostomy but screams her kids name at all hours of the day and night) At first she was a huge annoyance constantly banging on things, clapping, and screaming. She tries to get out of bed even though she is not allowed, pulling on her feeding tube and tracheostomy tube. Recently she has gotten worse, she throws and smears feces everywhere. She threw an orange at my mom and me because she was jealous that her kids were not there (or so the staff told me) it almost hit me, and just from it grazing me I could tell how hard she threw it. It could have really hurt my mom. Social services said they took her oranges away but she has them again (now that the health dept isn’t here doing there survey anymore) and yesterday she threw one at people walking in the hall. She grabbed my mom’s call light from her bed, and when the nurse returned it to my mom she viciously grabbed the cord. My mom asked her to stop and she tugged at it fiercely repeatedly and the look on her face was extremely distressing.
When told about their mother’s behavior the kids blame the facility saying if they had put her in a wheelchair she wouldn’t be violent. However she was in a wheelchair but she constantly got up and transferred herself between the chair and bed. I alerted nurses but there was an emergency down the hall. At one point she knocked her feeding stand into one of the nurses and it almost hit her. I’ve seen her shove CNA’s and grab at staff members clothes very aggressively.
The roommate exhibits signs of dementia. She’s becoming increasingly angry and aggressive, but the administrator’s seem to be afraid of this family. They keep saying there is nothing they can do because the law protects this woman and not the nursing home. Her kids are verbally abusive to the staff, and the daughter even tried to intimidate a lady down the hall who asked her to quiet her mother’s banging because her husband was sleeping.
I’ve now been approached by multiple family members of residents- they can hear her banging halfway across the building, they have told me the family are bullies. I’ve been approached by staff members who can’t take it anymore and say that this woman belongs in dementia care and that her behavior is psychologically abusive to my mom.
Social services only offered to move my mom to a different room, smaller and not next to a window because the roommate’s family refuses to move to another room. Everyone feels this is unfair, my mom likes her room and she is not the problem.
I was highly upset that social services tried to tell me that we all have to make sacrifices yet the roommate does not have to. I invented the word sacrifice. I quit my job and no work part time, and moved into a tiny room to be able to spend most of my time caring for my mom, to the advantage of the facility yet this other family is getting preferential treatment for being rude.
I’m going to talk to the head administrator tomorrow and will would love to have a better understanding of what our rights might be in this situation. I’m speaking on behalf of staff and other residents and family so I would greatly appreciate any advice you guys might have. Especially if there is legal grounds to evict this lady because I don’t believe they can care for her at this facility because of her mental issues. But her children are delusional and also refuse to have her medicated for anxiety. Thank you so much!