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Carrie12345, would your mother be open to having someone in that big house with her? What does she need assistance with? Which ADLs is she having trouble with? I'm sure that her doctor and you are right that she needs assistance but that can SOMETIMES be provided at home. Meals on wheels, house cleaner, someone to manage pills, etc can extend the period the LO can live at home.
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If an elder is still technically competent, they can decide where they live.

You can decide how much help you're going to provide.

After three days of " mom emergencies" that required my leaving work, I sat my mom down and told her that I couldn't do this anymore, and that we needed to make a new plan. If she hadn't agreed to move, I would have stopped responding to her emergencies myself. I would have called 911 or told her to.

The only person you can control in this equation is you. Don't cajole. Act. Stop running to their aid.

Sadly, it often takes a bad fall or serious illness that results in a hospitalization to get an elder into long term care.
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We have a very similar question. My mother doesn't realize the level of help she needs and refuses to move (she lives alone in our 3 story family home)... here's hoping for suggestions!
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