I don't mean the deficits themselves are getting on my nerves. I know she can't help the fact that she has the dementia. It's when her old and life long personality traits of arrogance and independence combined with her narcissism get her on rolls about the things she's going to do, that she can't do.
For example we live in a water area and she keeps talking about wanting to get a pontoon boat, insisting she can drive it and park it in the inter-coastal. Meanwhile, the other day she came home from a short trip to the grocery store and found that the elevator by her unit wasn't working. A 30 second walk to the other elevator would have been the solution, but instead she called me to have my husband come down and get her, because she couldn't "walk that far" with 2 (very small light) bags. But she's going to take care of a boat now???
She also seems to forget WHY she moved here and I am SICK of the complaints because she misses her old area. It's like she is acting like I somehow tricked her into moving here and it's my fault. That is so far from the truth. The LAST thing on earth I ever wanted was for her to move here! Plus my husband and I put in a TON of money and work all summer long before she got here last fall. Where is the appreciation??
I'm venting because this morning she wanted me to tally "all the money we invested" into her condo and let her know what it is, telling me she needs it for her taxes (not true). This is coming after a weekend where she spent every day at our place, eating her meals here that I cooked, but complained constantly about being bored and lonely. WTF am I supposed to do??? I've already tried to help her meet people and she just doesn't take any initiatives at all. Refuses to go to the local senior center, like that is somehow beneath her. I'm just so sick of it. I suspect she wants to know how much we invested because she is having thoughts of wanting to sell and move back to her old place. That could never happen. She doesn't realize it was her best friend at her old place who first used the word DEMENTIA to me, and has told me numerous times that even though she misses my mom, she is "where she needs to be". The only other move she will be making in her life will be to a care facility. It's like she's oblivious to the fact that neither of my two siblings and none of her friends want to deal with the burden that she has become. I'm the only one who stepped up, along with my husband, but nothing I do will ever make this woman happy.