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I am a single mom of 5 2 of my children have high functioning asbergers. I asked my mom to move in with me to help me watch the kids while i work. When i originally asked her i told her that i could pay her per day if i was able to recieve help theough mrdd for childcare if not i knew i couldnt pay her much. Now i also said i wasnt going to charge her for rent or food or any incidentals if she watched them so i could work. Now my mom has been here for 3 years almost and is telling me she wants 50 dollars a day to watch them, which with my schedule works out to 700 a month , i barely bring in a thousand a month. So i said thats fine if she wants to charge me that much then she was going to have to start paying bills. Her comment was, "I wont pay for anything you would pay for if i wasnt here.".....that is everything i pay! I dont know what to do my son who is autistic keeps telling me he hates her and she yells at him all the time and i have to tell her to stop picking on the kids constantly when im here. Oh i almost forgot she sleeps in my bedroom and im on the couch. I don't want to kick her out on the streets but im done with all the stress of what she brings to my house. Any suggestions would help ty :)

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Thats how i felt i know shes my mom but my children come first, it was never like that with her, and i choose to raise my children differently. I do feel bad cause shes my mom, and now she is not talking to me at all but i did need to do it for my kids, my job is good only 2 days a week but maybe more periodically as time goes by so, and i am finally able to go in my room and clean and organize everything, before i couldnt even go in there because she would close the door or thats where she would be and her stuff all laid everywhere so i dodnt want to go in and mess with it and start a fight. I mean i was scared to go in MY OWN bedroom. I am breathing easier now and the kids are settling down and we are doing better still some left over negativity and yelling going on but we will correct all of it, it only needs a little time. Ugh sorry so long lol ty all of you for your kind words and advice. I took all of it to heart and i appreciate your time and effort to help me with my situation.
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Moon, those children are a priority, give yourself a pat on the back, just for making a decision!!
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Moon: You did what you had to do. Don't feel bad about it.
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No she hasn't if anything she has gotten worse, i hate myself for it but i put a 3 day notice up. I need for her to leave and she needs to know im for real. As for the job its pretty awesome, its only two days a week but im at home so im thinking it woll work out a lot better for me, especially once the kids het the hang of me having to be on the phone periodically on those days. Ty for checking and caring to check. It means a lot and i hope everything is going well for you also.
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Still here, just checking back on how the job at home is going and your relationship with Mom. Is there any hope for her to treat the children better?
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Moongodezz, Congratulations on your new job, and for going to school! That is so very cool! You will soon be doing fine, it may always be a difficult struggle, but hang in there! A job at home just could not come at a better time for you.
You will work your way to a better solution for mom, be patient!
HUGS, ! And good for you!
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Gladimhere, It has become apparent that the reason 'discussing childcare' is pertinent is because that is the grandmother's role, if she cannot fulfil that role, other childcare resources and other finances have to be arranged. Especially if grandma is leaving.
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Great news about your job. It's too bad you don't qualify for more benefits.
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If i had the money for daycare i would, new update, my friend from high school has a private security business, and i am now a dispatch officer :D. It is an at home job only 2 days a week but i am also signing up for school and i will be going full time. Thank you all and wish me luck.
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You're welcome, MoonGodezz!
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Day care must be good option for your kids.
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Ty Llamalover47 i thought hard on that trying to find a way to better myself and my family. Im going to go for it and do my best to give them all they deserve plus a little more lol.
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No but i do need to get wic they say that i do not qualify for food stamps. Because of what the child support is supposed to be. And of course they periodically pay nothing consistant so when i apply it always is at the wrong time i guess. But yes im going up to wic on tuesday to get it started again i didnt have a way to get there for a while so i lost it.
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Arevyou getting WIC or SNAP benefits?
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Yes, moving forward that sounds like a better solution-getting a better job. Good luck MoonGodezz! I was once in a similar situation and it's not easy.
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Yeah the problem is paying for a babysitter for the first job, how will i pay for more? I would have to make over 20 dollars an hour in order to pay for childcare and still pay my bills thats not even budgeting the food which is easily 3 to 400 or more a month which is the biggest bill i have right now. I will look for a better job or look into going back to school so i can get an even nicer job maybe i should be able to get grants and help while i do that right? Maybe that can be a solution.
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MoonGodezz: How did you get yourself in this predicament? Can you get a second job? You may have to think outside the box for your finances.
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what I would do if I were you is start by getting an eviction process started. Next, you'll definitely need to get a hold of the lawyer you got the support through and get your lawyer to work on your behalf to enforce the child support laws in your state. As long as the court ordered child support, the deadbeat father is definitely in contempt by not paying court ordered child support.
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They are in school except the youngest two who are too young still but the amount stays the same no matter if its an hour or all day. Thats her rules for watching them.
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Oh and i can only get help through mrdd if i apply at the right time once a year i missed the deadline last year. And they were out of funds. That was what she was going to get for payment for the boys and then i was going to pay her for the girls other than that which is still a pretty penny but a lot more manageable.
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Not trolling and yes it is hard to make it on 1000 thats why i asked for her help, obviously it wont work out though cause she just cant handle them. If their dads, there are 2, would pay their child support i would have a lot more. But they dont so it makes it hard to make ends meet. As for childcare again it would cost just as much as i would make to pay for it. I was simply asking someone elses opinion on what they thought about it , a different perspective or point of view. Again ty all for your comments and help have a wonderful day. :)
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I am wondering about the credibility of this story. Maybe trolling?
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I don't know, but I would think the amount of money a single mom plus 5 children 2 of whom have special needs with an ex who does not have a job to be able to pay child support and alimony would be far more than $1,000 a month. I understand not wanting to be dependent, but your situation is one of those for which we have such a social net to help although I don't know exactly how much that net would bring in. If you don't have an increase in income somehow, that may put the future of your family at risk. This looks to me to be far about more than child care or mom, but the future of somehow holding this whole family together.
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I have to ask "why are we discussing child care?"
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5 kids and 2 with special needs - your life is stressful, so I am not piling on you. But I have to be honest.
It seems if you are paying $50 / day and $700 a month you are working 14 days a month, if you are working a typical 8 hour day, you are paying mom $6.25/ hour for watching 5 children.

Sounds like mom may be overwhelmed, lack the patience or maybe the temperament to deal with care taking for special needs children. This is no small task.....5 kids!!!

You may need to look for another option for child care. Grandparents make great occasional sitters, but to make this their responsibility day in and out may not be a good solution for her, you or the kids.
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It is daggone not possible to maintain housing, utilities, groceries for 7 people in the house on $1,000 per month! It costs me $1,000 per month just for housing for my wife and I and that's less money than where we rented 10 years ago with our two boys in a much smaller house with only one bathroom. How many bedrooms does your house or apartment have? My utilities cost over $200 per month and for just the two of us we spend about $500 on groceries per month. I don't see how you are making ends meet.

Your mom being willing to watch the children for $50 per day was beyond generous.

What are the ages of your 5 children? I assume there is only one dad who is responsible to pay child support for these five children and alimony for you. Does he have the kind of job that makes enough money to pay all that he needs to be sending you? When my parents divorced back in the early 1960's, my dad sent mom over $300 per month. I never had any idea where it went for we lived in her parent's house and she worked. So, I have no idea what current child support payments and alimony is like today.

Are any of them in school this school year?

I have no idea what to say other that to repeat that you need to go after the deadbeat dad.
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Click on the person's name, next to what they posted. Then, you are on their page, or what is called a wall. Click on messageboard, then click the tiny square that says private message, type it in, then click post. Don't worry if it won't work on your mobile or phone device. Log in later on a computer.
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I dont know how to private message anyone on here can you show me how plz?
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You are so welcome. However, getting advice from disinterested parties may not be accurate. I know that I am interested in assisting you. Knowing what it is like to need help, it is not available or too expensive, and trying to budget when special needs persons are in your home, and you are working at the same time! That is so hard to do. If you want to save your sanity, keep working. Have the 16 y.o. watch after school for 3 days a week to save money. If you need a resource for free budgeting advice, private message me with your area, county or city is okay and I will look up where to go, referring you to the people who helped me.
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Ok ty everyone you gave me lots of good ways to try to solve this. You are awesome. And this is exactly why i came here to ask a disinterested third parties opinion.
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