My Mom won't leave. Any advice?

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I am a single mom of 5 2 of my children have high functioning asbergers. I asked my mom to move in with me to help me watch the kids while i work. When i originally asked her i told her that i could pay her per day if i was able to recieve help theough mrdd for childcare if not i knew i couldnt pay her much. Now i also said i wasnt going to charge her for rent or food or any incidentals if she watched them so i could work. Now my mom has been here for 3 years almost and is telling me she wants 50 dollars a day to watch them, which with my schedule works out to 700 a month , i barely bring in a thousand a month. So i said thats fine if she wants to charge me that much then she was going to have to start paying bills. Her comment was, "I wont pay for anything you would pay for if i wasnt here.".....that is everything i pay! I dont know what to do my son who is autistic keeps telling me he hates her and she yells at him all the time and i have to tell her to stop picking on the kids constantly when im here. Oh i almost forgot she sleeps in my bedroom and im on the couch. I don't want to kick her out on the streets but im done with all the stress of what she brings to my house. Any suggestions would help ty :)

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Let me give you a virtual slap up the side of the head.

You are neglecting your children by not GOING TO THE WALL for the child support they deserve. Whatever it takes. Keep going back to court until you start getting a regular check. To do anything less is, in my opinion, child neglect. This money isn't for you. It's for the CHILDREN you and he decided to bring into this world.
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This may have seemed like a good plan initially, but it sounds as though your mom hasn't the patience or skill set to care for a child with Autism.

Bartering child care for room and board CAN work (as with Au pairs) if there is a clear agreement about the duties and resposibilites on esch side. but if mom wants to be paid (which is not unreasonable), she needs to find a different position, one that pays that sort of rate.

It's hard to treat a transaction with family in a business-like way. You are not throwing mom into the street, you are going to give her some time to give her time to find a new apartment and job. And you need to find new childcare. Go back to mrdd and find out what afterschool care is available.

Your mom is an adult. If she needs help finding a senior apartment, help her make some calls.
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You can't afford to "kick her out." No wonder you're in a dilemma. How are you raising five children on $1000 a month? It can't be done. Where is the father of your children? Have you taken him to court for child support? If you have, and he's not paying, then I assume you've had him thrown in jail.

I'm sorry, but it sounds to me that mom's an indentured servant. Tied to your home...watching your children...for room and board. She's tired of it. As well she should be,in my opinion.

You need to make some changes in your own life and hope that mom hangs in there long enough for you to make them.

If you don't need your mom there to watch the kids, you'll probably have to evict her to get her out. She has tenant's rights even though she pays no rent. For that, you're going to need an attorney.

If you MOVE, though, you are under no legal obligation to take her with you. As for her claiming that you have to pay her back for everything she's spent on the kids, etc., that's a baloney attempt to manipulate you. Don't even argue with her about it. Just tell her to take you to court. She won't. It'll shut her up. If she does, she won't win.

Get busy, girlfriend. I'm here to tell ya' life's way too short.
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Recapping...you have 5 children, 2 special needs children. Although you discuss what your mother would like, you don't state whether you are in fact paying her anything daily for care of 5 kids.

What do you think an au pair would charge to care for 5 children, including the 2 with special needs? Mother's asking $50 a day, only $10 per child. That hardly seems unreasonable to me.

Bluntly, this sounds like an exploitive situation; I think your mother is right to put her foot down and demand more than gas money, food, etc.

And go after that deadbeat father; Friend of the Court can garnish his wages as well as any tax returns. It's irresponsible for him not to pay and equally so for you not to be pursuing all legal remedies to get child support.

I think you should help your mother find a place of her own, including Section 8 housing if that's appropriate. She's been working and underpaid in kind for years.
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I am wondering about the credibility of this story. Maybe trolling?
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I have to ask "why are we discussing child care?"
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Is it possible that she's developing dementia?

You need to immediately find out about how to initiate eviction proceedings, because it can be a long process.
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This sounds like a touchy situation. I don't think your mother's request is bad, because she is providing a valuable service. I wondered where the children's father is and if he is providing any support. Working part-time with so many children and two adults and making so little doesn't seem like it will work. That appears to be the biggest problem here that is leading to insecurity for everyone. I wondered if the children's father could pay your mother.
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Yes, moving forward that sounds like a better solution-getting a better job. Good luck MoonGodezz! I was once in a similar situation and it's not easy.
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If i had the money for daycare i would, new update, my friend from high school has a private security business, and i am now a dispatch officer :D. It is an at home job only 2 days a week but i am also signing up for school and i will be going full time. Thank you all and wish me luck.
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