If you could please provide more details you will get more specific insights from the forum:
- how old is your mom? - what are her issues (bad health, cognitive/memory, immobility, etc) - what is her financial condition? - are you her DPoA? - how old are you, do you have minor children at home? - do you or husband have any physical or mental health issues?
Your local Area Agency on Aging can be a good resource for information about services like free or low-cost tramsport services, senior centers and case management. They can provide a "needs assessment" to tell you what level of care your mom requires and they will sometimes do a survey of your home with an eye to safety for older people.
I very much agree with getting medical providers lined up before she moves. You don't want to start looking for a doctor after an emergency presents itself.
Your profile doesn't say anything about why your mom needs to move or any limitations that she has.
You want to find out this information BEFORE she moves in. We have several posters who found out that their parent was much more physically or mentally disabled than they'd been led to believe.
If you are sharing expenses and houses, you also need to have a complete picture of her financial sitiution. Again, we have posters who accepted their parent's "my money is none of your business" only to find unpaid debt, rampant gifting to relatives and shopping addictions after the fact. Also make sure that you have a deep understanding of Medicaid regulations in YOUR state. A session with a highly qualified eldercare attorney can be a good investment. Co-mingling funds, buying property together or having a parent pay for renovations can cause disastrous penalties down the road.
Do not rely on "my neighbor says" or "I've heard that..".
Medicaid regs change and you need-up-to date expert advice.
To assist you better, I would draft an outline of all potential changes, ranging from meals to living quarters, clothing, assistive devices, appointments, etc., then continue identifying specific issues. I.e., bathroom issues might include installation of grab bars, which could also help in areas where your mother might need to hold onto something as she moves from room to room. Issues would be the size of the bars, locating a carpenter (and ONLY a carpenter should install these), etc. No rinse bath products might also factor in.
As to meals, you might want to inquire into Meals on Wheels delivery if either you or husband will be working and/or out of the house during mealtime. With winter coming, you might also want to stock up on foods that she likes, to minimize shopping and "away" time during inclement weather.
If she'll be visiting different doctors, begin identifying ones in the areas of care she'll needs, and find out if they're accepting new patients.
Along that line, I would prepare a medical contact and history list for appointments. I did this for my parents, and then myself, including their (and my) contact information, their Medicare and BCBSM contract numbers, allergies, surgeries, medical issues, treating doctors in the past (and/or current), procedures, etc.
This will be very helpful not only for medical appointments but in the event of emergencies. I always took my medical synopsis with me to appointments and to the ER, and it was available for EMS when they were called.
If you can create this kind of outline, and find solutions before she moves in, it would make life a lot easier.
And there will be events that you haven't planned for; that seems to be de rigeur for in home caregiving.
I would also identify entertainment options, especially if she's mobile and you live in an area where walking is safe.
What conditions does your mother currently have and how old is she? What kind of relationship have you had with her over the years? Does she like your husband and respect your marriage?
- how old is your mom?
- what are her issues (bad health, cognitive/memory, immobility, etc)
- what is her financial condition?
- are you her DPoA?
- how old are you, do you have minor children at home?
- do you or husband have any physical or mental health issues?
Thanks for the extra info.
I very much agree with getting medical providers lined up before she moves. You don't want to start looking for a doctor after an emergency presents itself.
Your profile doesn't say anything about why your mom needs to move or any limitations that she has.
You want to find out this information BEFORE she moves in. We have several posters who found out that their parent was much more physically or mentally disabled than they'd been led to believe.
If you are sharing expenses and houses, you also need to have a complete picture of her financial sitiution. Again, we have posters who accepted their parent's "my money is none of your business" only to find unpaid debt, rampant gifting to relatives and shopping addictions after the fact. Also make sure that you have a deep understanding of Medicaid regulations in YOUR state. A session with a highly qualified eldercare attorney can be a good investment. Co-mingling funds, buying property together or having a parent pay for renovations can cause disastrous penalties down the road.
Do not rely on "my neighbor says" or "I've heard that..".
Medicaid regs change and you need-up-to date expert advice.
As to meals, you might want to inquire into Meals on Wheels delivery if either you or husband will be working and/or out of the house during mealtime. With winter coming, you might also want to stock up on foods that she likes, to minimize shopping and "away" time during inclement weather.
If she'll be visiting different doctors, begin identifying ones in the areas of care she'll needs, and find out if they're accepting new patients.
Along that line, I would prepare a medical contact and history list for appointments. I did this for my parents, and then myself, including their (and my) contact information, their Medicare and BCBSM contract numbers, allergies, surgeries, medical issues, treating doctors in the past (and/or current), procedures, etc.
This will be very helpful not only for medical appointments but in the event of emergencies. I always took my medical synopsis with me to appointments and to the ER, and it was available for EMS when they were called.
If you can create this kind of outline, and find solutions before she moves in, it would make life a lot easier.
And there will be events that you haven't planned for; that seems to be de rigeur for in home caregiving.
I would also identify entertainment options, especially if she's mobile and you live in an area where walking is safe.