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If it was possible to get to Manitoba I would only be able to visit with mom for 1/2 hour once a week. I have never missed mom's birthday and am having a hard time dealing with this situation. For those who have been following my story will know that my brother has played a large part of making our lives miserable. We now have a Public Trustee and that has helped the situation. Mom does not have to worry about the money or her care. My brother has caused nothing but trouble with the previous hospitals and now the personal care home. Mom does not remember very much any longer but she does remember her son the Golden Boy. He refuses to phone her or do a window visit and not a garden visit. In 4 months he has called her twice and see her once. He feels that he can look after much better than the home that shes is in now. Mom requires 24/7 care, incontinent, must be fed puree food, a Hoyer Lift is used to get mom out of bed and in to a chair several times a day. Because of the constant lifting mom has gotten bruises on her arms and legs. He saw a picture of mom and you can see the bruises. I explained about the thin skin and the constant lifting but he wants to sue the home! I just want peace and stop being put down for things that I have not done. I have refused to respond to his texts which are full of garbage from 60 years ago. So far I have done everything possible to make mom's life as peaceful as possible and he undoes things as fast as he can. I feel that there must be something else that I can do but for the life of me I cannot come up with anything. I need help!

For the matter of that, I'd quite like to sue the home - !

Bruising happens very easily, it can't be altogether avoided, but it is NOT an inevitable part of using a Hoyer lift. If your client/resident/patient is elderly or frail or (for example) on high doses of blood thinners, then you use extra care and two hands when moving, lifting or adjusting her limbs. You don't just bash on regardless and say oh well what do you expect...

I'm sorry you couldn't be with your mother on this most special of special days. Did you speak to her? Did the home make sure she had a happy time? I hope everyone made a big fuss of her, and that you're feeling better about it.
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Reply to Countrymouse
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Do FaceTime, zoom call or Skype ..talk to staff to set it up. Ask them if residents allowed to get flowers 💐 delivered. Don’t dare talk about suing nursing home or they’ll discharge her to your care which will be 24/7. If she’s 100, then you’re no youngster either. They wouldn’t discharge to bro who they never saw, heard from. The home knows who the advocate is....you. Perhaps see lawyer to protect her & you. Happy 100 birthday to your mother! Hugs 🤗
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Reply to CaregiverL
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Having staff help with a zoom or facetime call is a great idea. Not sure if they allow deliveries of flower or balloon boquets to the place, but those are always fun. Mail her 3 postcards or cards a day for 30 days to make her birthday last all month. Postage can expensive, but you can find boxed assortments of cards very reasonably. Check the dollar store.
Or, send 100 cards and notes in one pack and ask the staff to give them to her 3 at a time each day. She will look forward to her daily message and have quite a display in her room at the end of her birthday month.
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Reply to swanalaka
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Can you have a staff member call you on her behalf so you can FaceTime with your mother? She may or may not be able to focus on the screen and know it’s you, but, it’s worth a try. You can also send a nice card or gift. I’d try to let go of the brother who brings havoc. If he’s still bothering mom consult with an attorney or the person who is charge of her care to share your concern. If he’s toxic consider ways to avoid him.
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Reply to Sunnygirl1
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How alert is she?  Can you ask a male friend to pretend to be him and call her?
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Reply to FloridaDD
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