She wasn't feeling well so I took her to a clinic on Tuesday and stayed with her until the ambulance came and took her to the hospital. Thursday night she was diagnosed with viral pneumonia. She would get herself up and to the restroom but not be able to get back up off the toilet. I tried to help her but she was dead weight, couldn't move her limbs or plant her feet and would end up sliding down to the floor. It took me an hour and a half to get her back on her bed and left me very sore. The next day she got up by herself and dressed. She moved herself into the living room and into her chair. She refused to put in her hearing aids, but things seemed better most of the day. In the evening she wanted to go back to her room. I brought her walker and tried to assist her but she was like dead weight again with no ability to move her body. My sister came to help but we still couldn't get her up and she ended up sliding down to the floor again. We called EMS. At the hospital my sister brought up what had happened with her loss of control and my Mom said that it wasn't that she couldn't control her limbs and was unable to help our efforts to help her up, it was that she didn't want to. I am at a loss to understand why my Mom would do this. My brother drove 3 hrs to help out this weekend. She got herself up and dressed, they went out to eat and walked around the block together. This was the very next day after she couldn't or wouldn't move at all. How could she go from dead weight on the floor to walking around and being active the very next day? Is it emotional or physical? What do I do now if it happens again? My Mom and I have always been friends. I am at a loss as to why these dead weight episodes are happening.
Your mother has not received proper medical care in the hospital. Instead of walking around the block, she should be sent to a better hospital that will treat her seriously. I hope you realize mom is not playing games by being dead weight, but trying to function and showing you she's unable to. Take this seriously, please.
Good heavens, as someone with chronic illnesses I can attest to the fact that illness makes you just want to sit and not do anything sometimes, even just get out of a chair. I totally understand where this mom is coming from.
"Viral pneumonia is a lung infection caused by a virus that leads to inflammation in the lungs, making breathing difficult as air sacs fill with fluid or pus. Early symptoms resemble the flu, including fever, dry cough, headache, muscle pain, and weakness, which develop over several days. This condition can be caused by various viruses and differs from bacterial, fungal, or parasitic pneumonia.
Symptoms
Fever
Dry cough
Headache
Muscle pain
Weakness
Symptoms of severe pneumonia can include shortness of breath, chest pain, and a cough that produces mucus.
Causes
Viral pneumonia is caused by viruses, but other types of pneumonia can be caused by bacteria, fungi, or parasites.
How it develops
Symptoms often develop over a period of several days.
The infection causes inflammation in the lungs, and the air sacs may fill with fluid or pus, which can make it difficult to breathe."
It is very odd that she is mobile and functioning one day (and seemingly in the morning or early part of the day) and then later she stops functioning or has her "dead weight" episodes. It could be Sundowning, but a very odd version of it.
Or, maybe she now has only enough energy to function part of the day and after that her tank is empty? My Mom is 96 and living semi-independently in her own home (next to mine). She will go great guns all morning cleaning or doing yard work but then she'll call me up to say she's too tired to even make a simple dinner. She doesn't have the cognitive ability to plan ahead to ration her energy throughout the day, even when I remind her to do so.
You Mom refusing to put in her hearing aids, and refusing to help herself even though it creates chaos for others can be symptoms of dementia, since it robs people of their ability to use logic, reason and empathy. Irrational stubbornness is definitely a symptom.
Her behaviors are still pretty fresh as of this writing -- not even a week has passed. I would give it some time and then if she doesn't improve or gets worse, you will need to contact her primary care physician for guidance (and of course 911 if things get really bad).
I agree with the suggestion to have her sleep exactly where she ends up on the floor and see if that moves the needle in terms of discouraging this behavior.
I wish you success in figuring out what's going on and making decisions for her in the future. Also please don't neglect yourself while you're in the middle of this weird situation.
More complex is her age. Pneumonia was once called "The old person's friend" that meaning it was the "friend" that ushered the elder to the pearly gates. As in it helped them to DIE. It is a killer for the elderly and fragile.
I would discuss with your mother's doctor the aging process and learn how you can learn more yourself what happens to us in old age. As an RN I can tell you that if we live long enough we return to being speechless, unable to eat and unable to eat, and that final stages, should we have to live through them, sends us curled into a fetal position much like the day before we were born.
You are an adult. You have lived in the world. I know you have witnessed all around you the aging process that begins from the day we are born and progresses through our lives.
I think this isn't so much a matter of your not knowing and understanding what is now happening for your mother. She is nearing the end of her life and she is weakening in ALL manner of ways from muscles to bones to tendons to vessels to heart to lungs to kidneys. The real question here now is how long you can manage to do what will become what we in nursing called "total care". It is terribly difficult at best and impossible at worst for one person to accomlish.
My heart goes out to you. I wish you and your mother the best.
Perhaps the reason your mom is having these "dead weight" episodes is that she's not getting enough oxygen to her brain because of the pneumonia and it's affecting her ability for her brain to tell her legs to cooperate.
Your mom is NOT playing games with you by telling you that she just "didn't want to" get up, but is instead letting you know that something WAY more serious is going on.
I hope you're listening and paying attention before it's too late.
Your Mom is 93 and has a very dangerous infection. Being "friends" has nothing to do with her obvious weakness from pneumonia.
"My Mom said that it wasn't that she couldn't control her limbs and was unable to help our efforts to help her up, it was that she didn't want to." That is suggesting she doesn't want to live. These episodes are happening because she is exhausted and needs oxygen for her PNEUMONIA. Or she is pretending to get attention?
When it happens again, call 911 and have her taken to the ER. Do not try to pick her up yourself again. She needs to be admitted to the hospital and oxygen be provided. Pneumonia is the major killer of the elderly. I'm amazed you don't realize this and INSIST she be admitted to the hospital.
Ask her Doctor (or who diagnosed viral pneumonia) what is going on?