My mom threatens to call the police over stuff her home health nurse never does. What do I do? - AgingCare.com

My mom threatens to call the police over stuff her home health nurse never does. What do I do?

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What do I do? She can't lose the only home health company that puts up with her behavior. She'll end up in another cycle of nursing homes that won't tolerate her.

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Disconnect the phone and remove any cell phone. OR delete all numbers in the phone except yours so she can’t just call everyone.
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Reply to ML4444
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Be proactive and call the local police station's non-emergency phone number (not 911) and tell the them the situation: let the police know that your Mom is an alcoholic, that she had a stroke which has resulted in memory impairment and a difficult personality; and that she has been in several nursing homes but she is having to be taken care of at home; and that when she gets angry at you or at the home health aides, she threatens to call the police. Other people on this forum have contacted the police and told them about their parents' behaviors as a precaution.

During the 6 months prior to my Mom's admission to the nursing home, she would threaten to call the police whenever we had an argument or when I wouldn't do what she what me to do.

That way if your Mom (as Ahmijoy stated) does become physically abusive towards you or the home health aides, the police will be forewarned and have a better idea how to handle the situation prior to arriving to your parent's house.

Ahmijoy also mentions the possibility of your Mother having a urinary tract infection (UTI). That does cause sudden behavior changes in the elderly and even though your Mom is only 61, her health is that of an 80 year old. Has your Mom ever had a UTI?
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Reply to DeeAnna
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She accused her nurse if stealing money. I think I scared her because I told her we have to budget if she wants to save, and I know that hard for her to hear. I think she is trying to find someone to blame for spending too much. I just hope that if she calls the police they realize she doesn't know better.
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Reply to aj6044
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You are caring for both parents? You say Mom’s primary ailment is heart attack/ stroke. She has not been diagnosed with dementia? This is very typical behavior of the dementia patient. They become delusional and paranoid, not to mention distrustful of everyone, including family members and caregivers. Mom is young, at 61, to have dementia, but perhaps the stroke accelerated the symptoms.

I take it, since you suggest Mom has gone through a few caregivers, she is rather difficult? Have you spoken with the caregiver and assured them that you trust them? While it’s no fun to be accused of being a thief, caregivers are used to dealing with difficult patients. However, if Mom takes it to another level and becomes combative and physical like my mom did, you may have to start planning for a facility, sorry to say. And this time she may need Memory Care a.k.a. The Alzheimer’s Unit.  She may change her mind about being difficult if she knows the alternative. And, tnere’s always checking for the UTI as those infections can completely alter the behavior of senior citizens. After decking two nurses and gouging my arm, we had my mom tested every month.
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