My mom thinks there is a man in her bed. Any suggestions on what I can do?

My mother has vascular dementia and Alzheimer's and she went through a period where she thought a man & woman were in her bed and small children were playing in her bedroom. This eventually became a problem because she said the man and woman in her bed were threatening her and she chose to sleep sitting up in a chair. She would also look at her reflection in the mirror and not realize that is was her, at first this wasn't an issue but she started cursing (extremely vulgar terms) at the person in the mirror and telling the person to stop following her everywhere she goes. Her doctor was great and she increased her medication, which helped with the man and woman that she thought were in her bed and my husband covered the mirrors in her bedroom and her bathroom and that stopped her from cursing at the person in the mirror. I eventually had to place her in a memory care facility because it became too much for me to handle after 4 years of caring for her. Unfortunately with this disease you always feel as though you are running a race, because as soon as you figure out how to conquer one thing something else happens. I hope that things work out for both of you

Ask her what the man's name is.

If you don't have a dog, perhaps you can foster one for awhile. (?) if you are a pet person.

Get her a stuffed teddy bear, and perhaps that may work.

Put a pretty poster or picture up against the mirror, as the forum has suggested.
Or lil party lights at night.

Play soft music that she likes. maybe she can close her eyes and listen to that. books on tape.

At least your mom still talks. I hope she gets a bit of rest and piece of mind.

My grandma went through that. My mom told her, "If there is a man in there, you get up and let me sleep there!" It made her giggle and calmed her down enough that she could sleep.

Read up on the side effects of the medications she is on. Think back to when the "seeing people in bed and mirrors" began. Probably shortly after beginning medications. Delusions and hallucinations are common on medications in this catergory. And the medicine does little to help the person taking them. Consider asking her dr to reduce/take her off them. Grandfather has dementia and does much better when I give him simple Sage tea. 3 bags to a big cup and a spoon of honey. A big improvement mentally and emotionally...though still has moments when he cycles through negative irrational thinking patterns. Don't we all :)

Yes it is normal. There are meds for her hallucinations if they are causing problems. My Moms never did.

Thank you for the responses. I think I might try the stuffed animal.

Thanks for all the responses. Mom actually doesn’t take any medications - aside from Alzheimer’s she is quite healthy. The delusions have been for 3 years now - they used to be friendly, but now they are causing her some distress. I have an appointment with her doctor in January and will discuss in length at that time

If it didn't work when you kicked him out, maybe the local police would help and come "arrest" the man, take him away and inform your mother he will NOT be back. I don't know if it would work, but one time my mother was afraid, for some reason, that we were about to be kicked out of our apartment. I called the local (small town) police and the local police chief came and assured her we were not going to have to go anywhere. He stayed and kept assuring my mother until she was satisfied we weren't going to have to leave. I've had to call the a few times to help me pick Mom off of the floor (she wasn't hurt, thank goodness) and they have been nothing but gracious and understanding.

Please talk to her doctor. Hallucinations can be the result of infections (UTIs are a huge culprit), poor oxygenation, or imbalances in electrolytes. All of these can be treated.

My grandmother had lots of hallucinations when she was having health challenges. Once her sodium levels were out of whack - probably from diet changes and type of blood pressure medication. Once, she was sick and kept imagining a hole in the floor. Once she and my mom came from Illinois to visit us in Colorado and she had oodles of hallucinations. It turns our that she wasn't oxygenating well (oxygen is much lower in the mountains and she has a bad heart) and a little oxygen tank was the "fix" for the remainder of the visit.

Give up and buy her a comfy recliner (can be a safer way for the frail elderly to sleep anyway).
When she moves on to a different delusion, she may start using the bed again.