Follow
Share

She'll say things like "you gals" get up at such-n-such a time or "someone" put this on the table. Tonight she pulled a container of leftovers out of the fridge and said she'd promised "her" she would eat it. I said "Who?" She said "One of the gals." She is in stage 5 of dementia, possibly moving into stage 6. Someone suggested that she doesn't really think there are more people here but just doesn't know how to express it anymore. I don't know what to think but it's weirding me out. Anyone else heard things like this?

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
Dementia can be very strange. Working at a hospital, I've had many dementia patients look directly at the wall, talk to it as if someone was right there, and then look at me and talk to me. When I ask who they are talking to, they will point at the wall and say someone's name. It's impossible to say if she is actually seeing people who aren't there or not expressing herself clearly like someone else told you. Either way, sometimes just agreeing with them is the best way for them to relax and occupy themselves with something else. I've often tried to reason with them and they often just get frustrated and not trust you. Sometimes, you just have to go with the flow.
Helpful Answer (7)
Report

All the time. And sometimes she argues with her deceased husband, too. Yes, it can be very disturbing.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Both other posters are absolutely right. Delusions, obsessions, hallucinations and in my mom’s case, paranoia are all a part of this disease. I got to the point that I just went along with her. If Mom takes food out and says “she told me to eat this.” Say, “Oh, ok.” You won’t convince her of what the truth is. My mom was convinced one of her aides was her daughter “Charlotte” because “they” told her she was. I’m an only child and my name is Joy. After I’d visited that day, out of Mom’s earshot I told the aide I’d heard we were sisters and welcomed her to the family. :o)
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Not the same but similar. Mom gets into brief (or lengthy) discussions about me, like she doesn't realize the person she's talking about is the person she's talking to. The content of these discussions is always delusional; i.e. " _____ did this. _____ said that." Things I never said or did. I never challenge what she says but gently ease her back to reality by redirecting the conversation, which so far hasn't been too difficult. I should qualify Mom's "reality." Mom hasn't had a firm grasp of reality for years.

I was totally blown away the first time she did this, but getting used to it now. As time marches on and the dementia progresses, I can casually observe her behavior with a degree of detachment I couldn't imagine a year ago. At other times, I watch when she doesn't know I'm there, and my heart breaks.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

I used to wonder, too, if the effort of figuring out things like this - how something made its way onto the table, what happened to the book she was vaguely thinking of reading - was just too much like hard work. So what they communicate is just an approximation, it's what seems the simplest explanation in their heads. I agree that this is quite disconcerting enough, even without the awful fears and paranoias that some dementia sufferers can develop (which are in a different league of difficulty).

Processing thought is actually such an amazing thing to be able to do. Perhaps the moral is we should all be more appreciative of what our brains handle for us all day long without our even noticing?!
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Thank you, everyone! It helps just knowing people are out there.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Amen Countrymouse! There so much I take for granted. Thanks for the reminder!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

one time i visited mom and she was talking loudly over my shoulder like she was yelling to someone in the next room - It was as though i wasnt even there infront of her!
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

If my Mom started doing that it would creep me out too, Just2ofus. She's seen spirits her whole life. So I'd be freaked out wondering if it was real or a manifestation of a diseased mind...I'd be the one paranoid.

So glad you're found your not alone in this. 😊
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Yes, my husband does that all the time. He is in stage 6 Alzheimer’s. He even talks in his sleep, sometimes he make more sense when he talks in sleep.. I will ask him who he’s talking to and he’ll say those people over there an point to the wall or ceiling. The other day he ask something about the horses and I told hem they Hal all been fed and all three were in the pasture. He said what about those three and pointed to the corner. I ask what color and he said green. I said that’s funny I didn’t know know I had any green ones.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Sure, I’ve heard people with dementia say a lot of things. I just assume it’s part of the disease.

But it’s very hard to weird me out.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter