My mom said she doesn't want to eat because the food is rotten. What should I do?

As an older person's world contracts & they lose control over the majority of things they once were able to do for themselves, it's been my experience that they become more demanding about the few things they can control. It's very hard on whoever is taking care of the person because the demands are often unreasonable. Perhaps houses calls by a professional would be helpful or you seeking advice from a counselor. Sometimes we just are too close to the problem to see the answer or options. This includes her humming. Does she watch TV or movies? Keeping her occupied to where she won't hum might be the answer or it may be that she needs to be cared for by someone else.

It sounds like some of Dementia. And to be expected. Try buying the Ensure or nutriton drinks(Choc maybe is good)to fill in the gap. Other than That, She would need to go to a Facility to get 24 hour care.

Take some bites of the food before you give it to her - "See mom, I'm fine." Umm - as far as the humming, it is a tic that she's developed. It may take a neuorologist or other doctor to stop it.

My mom has become picky as well, but I promise her a sweet reward like small serving of ice cream, watermelon or couple of cookies (make sure they don't have high sugar contents) and then she would eat her food first😊. Or... I give her plain yogurt with some honey and berries on it, she loves it and thinks it's ice cream! At this age they are picky because of lack of movement as well as losing their taste buds. They usually love sweets because that taste bud is more active. Also see what she likes and give her variation of that. Sometimes smoothies are very good since you can put everything her body needs in it, just like kids(vegetables, fruits, protein powder etc.). Always make it a little towards sweet taste(but with honey or fruits) so they would be more interested. You might also check with her doctor for her medication side effects. Also, check her teeth, does she have a soar area she dosen't tell you! Treat her just you would treat a child since that's how they eventually will become! Never embarrass her for anything. They are helpless and very sensetive. Use a lot of praise and loving words. They might not remember the words but they will remember how anyone make them feel!
As far as humming, play a soft music for her. Too quiet of the environment cause them to entertain themselves like that. Distract her with music, movies etc. Reading, writing and doing coloring are great ways of helping her to slow the process of cognitive decline.
I hope I could help....
Wish you luck my dear...Enjoy her while she's here.
Best wishes🙏🙏🙏

Does she hum tunes or just monotones? If she uses a computer, she could choose what she wants from Youtube.

If this came on rather suddenly, in spite of the poopy symptoms, I'd be wondering about a urinary tract infection. You need an MD appt to sort through and rule things out...and if if there is no other reason than a cognitive issue or the beginnings of dementia/alzheimer's could be at work. I think that sort of thing is what upped the feelings of anger for me as my mother developed dementia...little habits, that pushed me regularly to the edge, most typically her obsession with playing with the knobs in our old (now departed) fridge. She constantly turned the dial so it was warmer and the food was spoiling quick, milk warm...and yet sharp enough to have an excuse for it if she was confronted. Yet in other ways she seemed "normal". A real sign was when she was hospitalized for an appendectomy. She was snotty to the nurses who would ask if she knew where she was, and although it was a perfect opportunity for them to get a better determination and her care should have been adjusted for that, she was ultimately back home. And shockingly, after a week of the fridge being just fine...The morning after her return I went in the freezer and found liquid ice cubes. We called a repair person. He explained it had been turned off! So in spite of all the illness and the joy of returning home...she STILL was fixated on it and had turned the dials again....As for the humming...can you shut her door? Or get some ear plugs? White noise machine? She clearly can't last without eating...but at least once that issue is resolved you might have a handle on the rest...

Try giving her a little piece of chocolate first. Sometimes people lose the sense of taste but the taste for sweets is the last to go. I've been people in nursing homes who won't eat, just pick at the plate and say they're not hungry. When dessert comes they scarf it down.

And as for boredom, try music. Create playlists of her favorite music and keep a CD player in her room that gives her music for thirty minutes or so; you'll need to experiment with how long she wants to listen. And find something to occupy her hands: beats (is she used to praying with beads?), other colored pieces, little pieces of fabric that she might make something from? It's trial and error.

I agree with asking doctor to prescribe Megace which will giver her an appetite. Also talk with her about what snacks she would like and offer: dietary supplement drink, dietary supplement snack bar, cheese and fruit... Maybe keep a food diary - record what she eats and if there is a change in her bowels. You may discover that she has a food intolerance. That "off" feeling goes hand in hand with food intolerances.

If she is bedridden, she may be bored. TV is not the best entertainment. Look into crafts, books, and other activities she can do from her bed.

My 85-year-old mother lost her appetite and the doctor prescribed Megace which is an appetite stimulant. I was having the same problem as you before the Megace.

Missung a meal very day isn't going to hurt you.

You should introduce her to a drink called Ensure. Comes in a variety of flavors and has good protein in it.

She can try it to substitute 1 meal a day.

Get her involved with her meals, ask her what she would like to eat, make a list of the things she would like and prepare them for her.

As you get older, it's not unusual for your eating habits to change as food can start not tasting the same.

My father started becoming a very picky eater and I just made a list of things he liked to eat and that's what he eats. It doesn't matter if it's the same things, as long as they're getting their food groups like Protein, Veggies, Fruit, Bread She may just want simpler things like my Dad, he loves his applesause, yougurt, oatmeal, waffles, beans, potato salad, eggs, Milk, Ensyre, breakfast bars and maybe a couple other items.

He even stopped eating meat because he said it was hard to chew.

As far as the humming goes, being bed ridden, it's not like she has an awful lot of things to do and humming may be like singing and good for the soul.

You could see if you could get her to watch TV or Listen to Music. That way she can wear earphones you you wouldn't have to hear.

Juse remember, one of these days when she's gone, you'll miss her humming.

There is something going on here. And if its sudden, Mom may have a UTI which will cause Dementia type symtoms. It will be hard to get a sample being bedridden. Call her PCP and ask how you can get her checked. The humming all the time is odd. Its like an anxiety thing but then could be a UTI or even a mini stroke.

Last year, I got a cold and everything tasted terrible to me. It lasted for quite a while- even after the cold symptoms went away. Maybe your mom is having something similar? Try not to take it personally. Just keep offering nutritious food.

If it goes on too long, maybe ask her doctor for advice. When I had small children who turned their noses up at food, my pediatrician said to me "They won't starve." Just keep offering food. Vary the textures and temperatures. Don't make it a power struggle because you'll lose. You can't make anyone eat.

Is she eligible for Meals on Wheels? You would probably feel less insulted if she were turning down food that you hadn't prepared. Best of luck!

As far as the humming goes, do you think you could get a white noise machine or play soft music in the house? That might take the edge off.

Do you ask her what she's hungry for?  Sometimes appetites are off during and after diarrhea.  Plus, she may still have or feel like she's going to have diarrhea.  Even if you don't mind cleaning it, that's uncomfortable, embarrassing, and can make tummies and other body parts hurt. 


I'd call her Dr. re: her appetite, diarrhea, humming.  Good to check if these are side effects of any medications, supplements.  Stress may be a factor for both of you; can cause diarrhea, too. 

Maybe she's bored lying in bed and doesn't realize she's humming loudly (hearing may be bad?).

You have to make time for you to break before you do. Can you get any help? even if only part time? anything?