Follow
Share

Help! My mom is 71 years old and recently diagnosed with Parkinson's. She lived in the basement of a house she shared with her twin sister. We knew the stairs to the basement were unacceptable since she's already struggling to walk. We moved her into a senior community a block away. Her twin moved to the apartment below her. I'm not sure if it's from the move or her diagnosis, but she will NOT be alone!! Not even for 1 hour. I drop her off at home and before u get to my car she's asking to come back to my house. She won't do anything for herself, even though I think she's capable. She wanted to come over today after spending the week with me, I told her I need a day with my hubby. She freaked out, screaming and crying!! Then when I calmed her down she called my sister, who couldn't pick her up immediately. She again FLIPPED OUT. She even called me claiming she was outside and was attacked by a man. After further questioning, I knew this not to be true. She called the police any way. Is this the disease? Manipulation? Has anyone else dealt with this?? HELP!

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
It could be the Parkinson’s hallucinations. My Papa thought someone was standing behind his shoulder. One night he thought someone broke into his house. So what your Mother said could fit into those kind of scenarios. There is medicine that can control them. The medicine is then tapered down and discontinued until the next time the problem arises.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Jeanne and Golden, we will be reporting her behavior to the doc on Monday. It really is hard to know what's the disease and what's manipulation. I won't describe her manipulative past, I wouldn't want anyone to judge her. Just know it was REALLY bad when I was a child.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Bestgardner, I'm so very sorry to hear that!! The family and I had a meeting and were trying to figure out her fears. I would NEVER abandon my mother no matter how hard it gets. I really appreciate all the comments I've received on this post, as it makes me feel less alone. Mom is seeing a new Neurologist on Monday. I hope they can find some medication that helps. Like I said, I'm so surprised she's not on any at this time.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Some of the dopamine agonist, such as myrapex and ropinerol, have severe side effects. Nightmares , haluccinations, leaving your loved one scared and afraid. It is extremely lonely in a senior living, especially when you were surrounded by family and friends. I think you are wonderful to be trying to help your mom. My children left me alone, put me in a homeless shelter and left me at an emergency room all alone, when they saw I was broken due to PD. Your mom doesn't even understand what her brain minus dopamine cells is doing to her. The symptoms are very different among PD patients. Getting the right combination of meds takes months and years. Talk privately with your mom, assure her you will always help her through this. Read and educate yourself with everything Parkinson. Join a support group, it is very traumatic to have to change your life the way it has been for years. To be broken and not useful, to be taken out like trash.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

New, how are you, and how is your mom?
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

new - wondering how you are. I think it is impossible to figure out what is "the demands" and what is "the disease". If it is unreasonable, maybe it doesn't matter other than any new behaviours should be reported to her doctor. One thing that does matter is that you look after yourself in all of this, as it is very stressful and you probably have a long bumpy road ahead of you. You have to put your oxygen on first, as in a plane.

For my own sanity, I had to let some calls go to voicemail and check them for real issues later. Mother had forgotten about them by evening. Your mum has a serious illness and needs care. You do not have to give all that care personally. She may not be able to live alone much longer. I hope she has excellent medical care as she goes through this. They should be a great help to you and her. ((((((hugs))))))
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

More than half of people who have Parkinson's Disease develop dementia. The dementia can show up ten years after original PD diagnosis. And it can also show up much earlier. If the dementia symptoms start within one year of the Parkinson symptoms, the condition is considered Lewy Body Dementia. (Please note. I am not saying that your mother has any kind of dementia. But you should be aware of the possibility.)

PDD and LBD progress in different ways than ALZ does. Most general dementia descriptions are based on ALZ, so some of what you read will not match the behavior of a person with PDD or LBD.

Delusions and visual hallucinations occur early in PDD or LBD. I wonder if your mom is seeing things that frighten her? Has she mentioned anything that might indicate that? Delusions are false beliefs. What does she believe will happen to her if she is left alone? I wonder if she "saw" her "attacker"? Did she describe him? I heard this story at an LBD conference: Man checks into motel with wife. A little later wife runs into the office saying a strange man is in her room. She is terrified. Clerk calls police and asks where her husband is. She is confused. Husband? Why would her husband be here? A little later the officer comes into the office with a man and says, "Ma'am, look who I found -- your husabnd!" She runs into his arms and is very grateful that she is not in danger. She had early stage LBD and temporarily believed her husband to be a stranger. It is a good thing the officer was willing to test out the man's explanation, and that his wife recognized him by then!

What kinds of things do you believe that your mother can do that she insists she needs help with?

Does your mother have sleep disturbances?

I am so glad you are scheduled with a doctor soon. Be as detailed as you can be in your description of her behavior.
Helpful Answer (6)
Report

Ok, I'll definitely have her checked!
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

No. No pain many times. Just dementia type symptoms. Not the type of symptoms you might expect such as burning, etc.
Get her checked.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

It was the end of Dec early Jan. I was at work and she called saying she couldnt use the bathroom. I called her a taxi and she went to urgent care, then they sent her to the Urologist. Would she have pain with a UTI?
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

New, if your mother gets out of control to the point where she is endangering herself, get her to the ER and have them text for a UTI first. When did she have this urological procedure done?
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Yes Sue, that's what she told me. I wasn't with her at that appointment, but I hope I can find out more info.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

I will definitely have her checked for a UTI. I have 2 doctor appointments set up for her next week.
Golden, I'm feeling that way now, not sure what is her demands or The disease. It's been so scary seeing her go thru this. I just wasn't sure if her outbursts were normal. And she will call and call and call and call.. I had 4 call in 1 minute tonight. (I was getting my laundry)
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

A "twisted" urethra? Like a stricture?
If she needed a dilation, she may have had urine backing up and that could cause a bladder infection. Please have him explain what he did and what the result of the urinalysis was.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Newtothis - You will find lots of support here on AC

Take care, I'm off to bed.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Really? She did just go to the Urologist. They said her Urethra was twisted. The doc fixed it and said nothing of an infection. I better double check
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

(((((hugs)))) I and others have found that early in these diseases it appears their parent is unwilling to do things for themselves that we think they can do.. I remember thinking that of my mother, who was always very demanding and wanted to be the center of attention. Looking back now, I am not so sure all of her demands were just attention seeking. Certainly when anyone is diagnosed with a serious condition their insecurities will tend to rise and, for some, that means they will want more attention and help. But, along with that, we have to recognise that the disease itself is having an effect. It is impossible to know exactly what causes what, and in the short and the long run you have to deal with it regardless.

Please be sure to look after you as you go through this. Caregiving, even not hands on, is very stressful.

Very good point about a UTI, Barb. Mother never had  one so I don't think of it.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

New, get her to the doctor and make sure they test her for a urinary tract infection, which can cause psychiatric symptoms in elders.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Thank you so very much for your answers, I already feel less alone!
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

Oops -just saw that she is not on meds. I suspect she needs some, even for her behaviour. Yes, people can live with PD for a long time.

I agree with cdnreader that your mother may need a facility with some care, not just independent living.

Again report this to her doctor as a change in her behaviour. I am so sorry that you have this to deal with and sorry that your mum is going through this. I know it is very overwhelming
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

Hi new. The old "habits" don't go away when someone develops another disease though they may be exaggerated. My mother has borderline personality disorder and is narcissistic. When she developed vascular dementia her behaviour became more unmanageable. This was early in her dementia. I don't have experience with PD specifically, but it would not surprise me if it was a combination of her personality and the PD. I think it is important that her doctor know about this behaviour. Maybe he can adjust her meds.

I found an article which may be of help to you - It talks about Parkinson's Disease Dementia which can develop about a year after PD has been diagnosed. It is from the alz.org website, Google alz org parkinson's disease dementia.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

That's just it, she's not taking any medication. It made her sick.
She's perfectly capable of taking care of herself, she just won't. She wants us all to take care if her, to be with her 24/7. I love her to death, but I've been so overwhelmed. Like I said... it's been 3 months. I read you can live with this for 10 years or more.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Dear Newtothis75,

I'm so sorry, I know this is difficult situation. I wonder if your mom is having some sort reaction to her medication. I really hope her doctor can review this and see what can be done. If she continues like this it might be time to consider assisted living or a nursing home.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

I don't believe she has alz. She was only diagnosed 3 months ago. 
She was manipulative to me when I was young, nothing like this. 
She was doing well 9 months ago, does it really progress this quickly?
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Many seniors do not want to move from the familiar. Does she have Alz as well as Parkinson's? I would contact her doctor to report her behaviour. Has she has been very manipulative all her life? Even then, it seems to me that this is likely due to the disease which, I have read, can be manifested by behavioural changes as well as loss of motor skills. Do contact a Parkinson's Association and find out all you can about the disease. Hopefully her doctor can find some medication that will help her.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter