My mom passed away. Can anybody help me or at least point me in the right direction?

Polarbear, that's very nice of you.

Hi mets82 - It's a good start that you made a list of things to do. Actually, it's a great start. I totally understand that it is overwhelming. It would be for anyone in your situation.

When I have too much to do, I find it's helpful for me to just focus on 1 or 2 things and work on those only. I try to block everything else out so that I don't get sidetracked. Can you try that? Maybe it'll work for you.

Also, please come back regularly and update us of your progress. We're here to help and support.

Well, I still have to get down to The Courthouse. The Driver's License I can't get because I don't have the money for it. I do have SNAP Benefits but I don't have any cash. I have made a list of what I have to do. It's just overwhelming.
But I do appreciate your response.

A caregiver position is called personal care aid. You can also take a class to work towards becoming a CNA / certified nurses assistant. The pay will be a little better when you are certified. You already have the experience after caregiving for your mom.

Like others have said, you need to go down to the courthouse with her death certificate. Responsibility for officially closing out her estate now falls in you. Get someone to drive you there if you haven't done this already. You'll need a few official copies of her death certificate and a list of every asset - checking account balance as of the date of her death, the value of the house and any other assets. The people at the courthouse should give you a booklet that tells you what to do. You can't just let it go and not do it as anything that you are entitled to will come from having that process completed.

In the meantime, you'll need to work on getting a job (maybe even 2!) and getting your driver's license. Make yourself a list of things that you need to get done so you don't forget anything. Apply for food stamps and welfare in the meantime. Good luck to you.

Yes. Take care of someone in that person's home. Live-in caregiver typically gets paid hourly or salary in addition to free room and food.

Talk with Medicaid in some states they will not kick a family caregiver out if they provided medically necessary care for a period of two years before a nursing home. They do not want to have another needing more public assistance because of years of caregiving. Then you would need to figure out something on the mortgage.

I don't understand. You mean take care of somebody in somebody else's home?

Another suggestion, if no one has mentioned, is for you to find a caregiver's position, preferably a live-in situation since your mother's house might be taken by the government to reimburse Medicaid. You already know all about care giving and have done it for years so you are very qualified.

I'll do that ASAP.

Take your mother's death cirtificate to the courthouse and get your mother's estate dealt with so you can get some money from her account.

Ok, well thank you for the help.

Right

Medicaid will not pay you retroactively for care. If you call to get paid, the answer will be no.

So basically, it wouldn't do me any good to call Medicaid and explain my situation?

Not now they want. In some states medicaid does pay a caregiver a little.

Now, my mom was on Medicaid. I wasn't on Medicaid but is there anyway I can contact Medicaid and would they pay me because I was a caregiver for her?

Since there is no will, your mother's estate will be settled by the court in test ate which men's the government will get most of her money and you will get some.

The more I think about your situation, the less I have to say other than I am praying for a miracle for you. I mean you have no job, no money, a mortgage that is due and even if it was paid for Medicaid would take it plus no driver's license as well as being disabled. You need a miracle.

Check your area labor department. They often have classes to update computer skills and even job counseling.

Goodwill also has job counseling.

Hi mets82, I did read your blog. Is your home paid for and can you stay there for good? If so, that’s a huge plus.
I couldn’t ascertain what your employment was prior to all this, but it sounds like you had a career and put it in the back burner.
I would suggest applying for temporary positions in your field to get started. Visit employment websites like Indeed.com etc and register to be notified of positions in your area. That’s a great site.
Think about maybe renting a room to someone responsible for an income source.
You need to get busy for your mental health. You sound like a well educated person with a lot to offer, it’s just that getting back into the work force is hard - especially with an employment gap and yes, age discrimination (which totally exists these days). I really do think that the pendulum is changing as far as employers hiring older people as we have a good work ethic & are reliable.
Maybe consider classes at your local community college to get training in IT/Microsoft to add those skills to your resume.
It’s never too late, Mets82, and I believe you will be rewarded for caring for your mom for those years but you have to get out there and put some effort into it. It already sounds that you have made a start.
Apply everywhere - supermarkets are often hiring and have great benefits if you get set part time or full time hours.
Make a list of goals for yourself. Realize the benefits you already have (a home). Sell the home if it’s yours and either rent or buy a smaller place to live so the upkeep is not over your budget.
Don’t give up!
Go to your county website and employment site as many local businesses post positions or links to positions there for people who are on unemployment. Take advantage of county resources for career training - often these services are free as well if offered by local government.
You are still grieving the loss of your mother & that is hard. But your mom would want you to go on and live your life to it’s fullest as that would be her goal for you.
I believe things will get better for you, but you’ve got to believe it yourself.
Become a Uber driver of you have a vehicle.
Good luck!

Thank you guys. I hope my life changes but I'm not betting on it.

No comment.

Dear mets82,

Thinking of you. I hope things turn a corner soon. Hang in there. Please know we are all here.

Yeah, somewhat. I didn't think it was possible.

It sounds like things have gone from bad to worse. :(

Like others who have been caregivers, Mets, you are most likely over-qualified.!!
It is like being cursed.
That desperate demeanor does not help, and if you become aware of it, you may be able to change it!
Sometimes, spending a bit (on a haircut) can do wonders, you will be standing up straight, smiling, and get the next job!

.

I've applied to about 10 jobs. CVS, Big Y, Boston Market, Bookkeeper, but have heard nothing yet. I don't think I'm qualified.

Pray

Thank You. I was paying the bills using her pension check and checking account. I have very little money left.

I'm sorry on the loss of your mom. Saying prayers that all works out well for you.

You wrote;
"Everything was in my mom's name. I was paying the bills."

HOW did you do pay them? ATM card? Checks? Did you bring her into the bank to withdraw the money?
Does she have any money left in her account that you can live on until the government services and a new job kick in?

I would call all the utilities and other necessary services and explain the situation. They will be much more lenient if you give them a heads up as to why the bills may be late. Often, they can work out payment plans for you.

Good luck.