I have received a couple very small checks for her estate. When I went to the bank she and my step-dad share, I learned that I will need to apply for her to have an "Estate Account" with Social Security. Lawyer recommends that I move all money into one bank as funds are spread out.
So far, almost everything that I have tried to complete, taking her name off and transferring funds, getting her Costco earned money, turning off phones has resulted in more requests for information. I am getting no where.
I really wasn't sure what to call this topic. **Business, following the loss of a loved one.
How does one know what to do?Any advice appreciated.
Do get an estate attorney, as others have said. You might be able to do it yourself without an attorney, but by the time you’ve figured out all the steps and requirements, you’ll be done, and very tired and frustrated! The attorney saw to it I knew what to do, how to do it, and handled most of the legal requirements. Well worth the small amount his services cost.
Thank you!
Those of us who are thinking ahead to planning our own estates to make it easier for our heirs should designate any bank or investment accounts Payable On Death (POD) or Transfer On Death (TOD) to whomever we want to inherit them.
Keep an up-to-date list of where to find all funds, insurance policies, funeral home plans and payments, deeds, titles, etc. etc. Mine is on my computer and also in hard copies with my other estate information.
Make it easy for your heirs. You don't want them to go through what you're going through settling your parents' or other relatives' estates.
Thank you.
It can feel like there is no time to just be sad, to grieve, to just sit & remember 💙
But I try. I sit in the garden & take a break everyday I can. Time away from the bills, the endless emails & forms. I try to prioritise & make achievable goals every day as it was way too easy to tip into being overwhelmed :(
Last year I had coffee with a cousin that had just been through this. She said expept paperwork to take at least 6 months, 12 is probably more realistic even if with a straight forward will or beneficiary situation.
Each bank of company has it's own procedure. So.Very.Annoying.
Plus, I found most companies have phone staff with about zero knowledge in this area.
I learnt to ask for a specific Deaceased Account staff person & then deal only with that person.
I would have a coffee or pour a glass at the end of the day & TRY to see the funny side..
Eg The Post Office Clark who didn't believe a colour photocopy was a true photocopy. I watched as she re-photocopied my original document as a black & white copy before stamping 'a true & certified copy'.
The Bank staff that told me my Mother lacked enough ID to open a bank account. Yet I opened one in 2 mins using my phone later that night.
The Bank that told me a phone call or email letter would suffice. Yet today, that Bank now insists on a 'wet ink' signature.
Wet ink! I'd like to slap their face with a very large wet fish!
Let's try & have a laugh together.
We have to survive this!!
I finally had to draw the line and get back to my life.
I would suggest to anyone to get a lawyer and save your nerves. I'm still getting his IRA statements even though I sent them a death certificate in 2017!
In our case, when DH was registered as the executor with the courts, we were given a 3 month initial inventory to complete, and final inventory that needed to be completed within a year of the initial date.
Things like notifying creditors, tracking any estate assets etc. We had a whole booklet that told us what to do...though admittedly it wasn't exactly crystal clear and we had to do a lot of research on the internet to supplement it. But at least the checklist(s) told us what was required to be provided.
In my experience, the clerk of courts can't offer any legal advice. So if you are really struggling, you could consider hiring an attorney to go through the process. My mom has had to do that with my grandmother's estate, because of the county my grandmother lived/died in - they are notorious for being incredibly difficult and nitpicking over every little document, and it was just easier for mom to hire someone to shepherd through the process.
Good luck! It is a process that needs much more clear guidance since most everyone has to do it in some way at some time.
Literally everyone dies, so you would think there would be a clear process for getting all the loose ends tied up.
You mentioned a lawyer. That person should be able to guide you on what else could come up. In my case, they wanted my mom to redo her own will after my dad passed which was its own process.
My dad always did 100% of all family “business” and it turned out that he was very secretive, messy and disorganized about it — then he got dementia so when I took over, it took more than a year to figure it all out. What accounts they had where, online vs paper, how to activate durable power of attorney, etc. By the time I had a handle on all that, his own condition was worsening a lot so it’s just been a continuous part-time job on top of my regular full-time job for about six years now.
good luck! One day at a time.
Wishing You the Best of Luck with this journey.