Mom lives with me and does have care givers when I am working. Should I ask POA to help pay for a portion of utilities and rent. So many extra loads of laundry and tv bill, and going to the doctor and time off work is squezing me dry.
She has some income and some in the bank. She has a condominium that her step daughter is going to sell, she has the POA. Mom has demintia and is not competent. My step dad did the will that way. A nursing home would be my last resort. I love my Mom and can't do that to her.
My question is, does your mom have any income? And is her income under the control of the POA? Because if she has no income, the POA isn’t financially responsible for her. I guess I don’t understand why she has a POA yet lives with you and none of her money is being spent on her. Assuming she has money, where is it going?
You should work out a caregiving contract and agree upon rent and utilities. Sadly, this should have been done before she moved in with you, but late is better than never.
You need for this to be done in a formal and legal manner so that if Mom ever needs Medicaid funding, it will not look like she gifted you money. You need to be paid for what you are doing.
Don't be put off by "you'll get your inheritance" (if she needs Medicaid, there won't be an inheritance for anybody) or "she didn't charge you rent as a child". Parents have a legal obligation towards their children, to house, feed, clothe, educate and launch into the world. The obligation from child to parent is to love and honor, not to support and impoverish oneself.
Your profile states: "I am caring for my father Bob, who is 79 years old, living in my home with age-related decline, alzheimer's / dementia, anxiety, arthritis, diabetes, incontinence, mobility problems, sleep disorder, and urinary tract infection."
So is it your mother or your father that lives with you?
Who is the POA (why isn't it you, since you are doing all of the work?)?
You should work out a caregiving contract and agree upon rent and utilities. Sadly, this should have been done before she moved in with you, but late is better than never.
You need for this to be done in a formal and legal manner so that if Mom ever needs Medicaid funding, it will not look like she gifted you money. You need to be paid for what you are doing.
Don't be put off by "you'll get your inheritance" (if she needs Medicaid, there won't be an inheritance for anybody) or "she didn't charge you rent as a child". Parents have a legal obligation towards their children, to house, feed, clothe, educate and launch into the world. The obligation from child to parent is to love and honor, not to support and impoverish oneself.
So is it your mother or your father that lives with you?
Who is the POA (why isn't it you, since you are doing all of the work?)?