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She called the scammer this time, they locked her out of her computer, told her to change her bank password and sent her an app. They told her they deposited $20k into her account and they are trying to get her to send it to them. she trust them more than me. Who should I call? pPolice, the bank? How do I stop them?

Elder Fraud FBI .com ic3.gov , Identity Theft , Contact Police file a report , change Password On the computer . It is really bad . change her phone number and Password , change her email . see if you can Block them . Change the Password on the Internet IP server . Go to bank get POA , get Onto her accounts . Cancel credit card and debit cards . Cancel Back account . Check to see if she Had Pay Pal or Venmo transactions a lot of stealing goes on there . Its a Lot of work . Can you get the Laptop Out of her hands ? Shut it down , change Password on email and computer . Cancel any credit cards see if there are Unauthorized charges . Cancel debit card - a Lot of times they get the debit card Info and steal .
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Reply to KNance72
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Does your mother have dementia?
If so it is time to get your mother's ability to access cash, credit cards and her own accounts out of her control. The POA becomes signee for all bills and keeps meticulous records, giving the principal (that's mom) a private small account for her own spending, but one monitored by the POA. When my brother fell ill with Lewy's this is how we set everything up for his protection and the protection of his assets as he took the long road downward in mental decline.

If your mom doesn't have dementia, I would contact AARP and go to their website where they have some hotlines on which you AND/OR mom can discuss this scamming. But it is now down to the point where they are discussing DSM diagnosis of mental disorder where scams are concerned. It is very difficult for a senior to acknowledge they have been "taken". Or anyone else, really. Which often leads to repetive attempts with success on their finances.

I wish you luck. Go to the search bar and type in "scams" and you will get lots of questions on AgingCare with lots of suggestions. Good luck.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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how was she scammed before? can you take control of her accounts and just give her cash to spend? that's what we are doing now.
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Reply to paoch929
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what other scams was she involved in before? Is there a way to have her let you manage her finances? basically take over her accounts and give her cash to spend.
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Reply to paoch929
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Ugh! Without POA and a diagnosis, I don’t know if there is anything legal that you can do. I have a friend whose 80-something widowed mother gave her life’s savings (mostly inherited from dead husband) to a scammer and furthermore borrowed against her IRA and sold her house and car (!!!) and gave it all to the scammer. My friend flew down to FLA where his mom lives, tried to convince her it was a scam (she denied it), tried to talk her into seeing a Dr, putting his name on her bank account, any number of things — and tried with a lawyer to have her declared incompetent and to obtain legal guardianship — all failed. Sadly. She is living in a rundown motel and eating the free breakfast there and that’s her whole life. So sad. I hope you get a better outcome!
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Reply to Suzy23
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Monica1, welcome to the forum. Sadly this can happen to anyone, believe it or not this is happening more often to the younger generation, than for those of us who are senior citizens.


Check with AARP www.aarp.org/money/scams-fraud/about-fraud-watch-network/


In Congress, there is a bill to help those who pull their money out of an IRA/401k to pay a scammer yet the person still has to pay income tax on said stolen money (the Bill is currently stalled in Congress). Here's a good article about a woman who was scammed into purchasing gold, then turning it over to someone else for safe keeping (the thief). www.washingtonpost.com/business/interactive/2024/scam-elderly-tax-issues-victim-aid-congress/
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Reply to freqflyer
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I would talk to her bank since they actually have the power to prevent her from sending the money. Any proof you can provide (emails, texts, DMs, etc) to support your story will be helpful. Stop talking to your Mom about it since you're not going to convince her.

How old is your Mom? Does she have any history of mental illness, or is she old enough to possibly have dementia?

Is anyone the PoA for your Mom? If so, this person will to step in to try to begin managing (and preserving) her money. The PoA usually needs to activate their authority by getting an official diagnosis of sufficient impairment from her doctor.

If she has no PoA and isn't willing or able to assign anyone, then you really don't have any other power to intercede until and unless she starts having other symptoms.
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Reply to Geaton777
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I was just telling my partner I think that believing in conspiracy theories and scams is the next thing to go into the DSM-5 as a diagnosis. There is no talking any of them out of it so you may as well give up right now. And often, in fact USUALLY, they are not suffering from any dementia.

You can show them like scams on AARP, you can show them a million Dr. Phil shows and STILL they believe. It is like Hoarding. It makes no sense and you cannot talk them out of it.

WORSE? No one in this entire country, where literally billions are lost in this manner, give a rip or will do ANYTHING about this. Comes down to as long as we are legally competent under the law we can give our money to anyone we wish to. Perhaps you are in the wrong profession? Because THIS WORKS. And quite easily. Whether you are promising dinner with Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie on the line waiting for child advice, they BELIEVE it. That is how sad the human condition is.

If you cannot get conservatorship she is very likely to lose not just THIS money but ALL her money because it continues and each time their believe. I have never personally seem ANYONE stop it in any way.

Do go to AARP site. They have a place to report scams and to even have someone talk with your loved one about it. I must tell you I doubt it will help. If you cannot get control of her money she is very likely to give it all away.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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lealonnie1 Dec 14, 2024
"Conspiracy theories" are true quite often, and have nothing to do with fraud and scams of this nature.
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