So. I posted before about sending my mom to the hospital for a UTI 3 weeks ago. She's been home with IV antibiotics and recovered. NOW, just as soon as she stopped the antibiotics, she starts vaginal bleeding. She had vaginal bleeding a few years ago, but the doctors never checked it out because at the time she had a blood clot and they said it was too dangerous to sedate her. (She can't walk to get up on a table).
I'm so worried. I Google and it all says cancer cancer cancer. I'm so tired and exhausted and worried. I'm so scared for her. She's only 75. I'm only 38. I don't know what to do. I'm also completely alone. My brothers live in different states. No family out here. And since I've been taking care of my mom, I have barely any friends... actually just acquaintances.
I'm glad I have this forum to vent to people that understand, though. I'm really thankful.
Is there any possibility that it's NOT cancer? I need some hope.
You write "only 75" although that is the start of old age. The little bit of her medical history you've shared suggests that her body is biologically older than 75. What are her wishes going forward?
If she can get into a bed, there is a way for her to be examined. Although exam tables and stirrups make it easier for doctors, they are not a requirement.
Cancer is treatable. My late grandmother in law had a total Hysterectomy when she was 93.
So what are your next steps? First, make sure Mum has all the paperwork updated. As her care provider you need health and financial POA’s. She should ensure her Will is up to date too. Next have her eldercare attorney prepare a caregiver contract to allow you to be paid and also to state what you will/can do and at what point you will need additional help in the home, and when it all becomes too much at what point a facility will be needed and down the road hospice care.
Once the POAs are in place take copies as needed to the bank, doctors’ offices etc. You may have to get all up in the face of her doctor for a referral to a OBGYN who specializes in Oncology. It is unconscionable that a doctor would not do basic diagnostic testing and exam on a woman at any age or ability.
I was sort of thinking about this before. The doctor more or less talked us out of her possibly having an hysterectomy. Because of my mom's illnesses. My mom might have issues, but they're always stuff like UTIs. She has never had a heart attack or stroke. Her diabetes is under control. So, I'm not sure why she couldn't have surgery.
My brain is really tired right now, so I'm gonna stop responding to comments. I really thank everyone for all your comments and help and thoughts. It means the world! I'm just so tired right now.
When you get to a certain point in life, there are only "less bad" choices. Mom is competent to make her own decisions. You can take her to a nutritionist and see if she's motivated to adjust her diet somewhat, but dont ruin your relationship with your mom over this.
Please spend the time you have left with her making good memories, not arguing over food.
And remember, quinoa is a complete protein!
My DH struggles to eat healthily and I refuse to bring him breakfast in bed, lunch in bed, etc on those many days when he simply won't get up.
The protein shakes that Costco sells have a whopping amount of protein in them. You don't want to get all your protein from them, but one 'can' a day can make a big difference.
During my cancer treatment last year I was routinely protein deficient. I did try a couple of those shakes and decided I preferred a good steak to them. :) To each his own.
Having had cancer, I can say that 99% of the times I had a health issue and thought "oh man, this is cancer for sure' I was wrong every single time. Except for the time I DID have cancer. Taught me to not google every symptom and hiccup.
And yes, I should stop googling and worrying. Literally almost everything you type in google has results of cancer. That is really interesting (although, I'm sorry you had cancer), thanks for sharing that. Hope you're better now.
Given that your mom is relatively young and you list "age related decline" as the reason she needs care I'm wondering why you are so invested in her health care, is she not competent to take care of things herself?
THAT SAID.. she has a new issue. So, my mom hates to eat protein. The doctor has told her that her Albumin is low in the past, but she refuses. She hates meat, hates everything. So now, I think it's causing issues with her liver!!
Ugh, I'm really mentally exhausted.
What investigations are your mother's doctors recommending?
How is your mother?
I'm glad they cleared up that UTI and I agree that the bleeding could be related to that and not something more dire.
Take heart, ((((( hugs)))))) and let us know what the docs find!
Until then take deep breaths and say a little prayer that it is not as serious as it could be.