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She started from last year asking me how to write a check mind you she's 70 but shes very crafty and I've shown her to go to her phone to find out info but lately asked me where is the button to turn phone on & off. She's great at most things then has lapses & now her sleep pattern is one night no sleep and the next day sleeps for 10 hours. What phase of dementia is she and can she go downhill quickly or she can decline super slowly lasting 5 10 20 years?

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Your profile says your mom is only 69! This is relatively young to start having cognitive problems. The only way to know her actual condition is to take her in to her doctor or a neurologist for testing. As an only child I'm hoping you know how much care you are willing to provide your mom and you've discussed this with her. I'm an only myself and my mom is single and we know each other's hopes and expectations. However as she loses her abilities to remember, she may not recall what was agreed upon and seek more help from you than you are willing and able to provide. Please please read the section on Caregiver Burnout in this forum. No one can ever imagine that caring for their sweet little mom could turn into a nasty dumpster fire of exhaustion and financial ruin. Knowing how bad "bad" can be will be important in committing to her care. Make sure she has all her legal ducks in a row so you have the full support of the law behind every decision you make for her. She needs a medical directive, living will, and last will, preferable created by an elder law attorney, and some estate planning to help protect her assets and plan for her long term care. For the sake of your planning, just assume she will decline fast and act accordingly. Help her to see the wisdom in visiting care communities so she can have a say in what type of place she would like, if it comes to that (and often it does no matter what you think at this moment). Your mom will be freaked out by all of this so tenderness is the order of the day. I wish you much wisdom and peace in your hearts as you go down this path together.
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mommynightmare Apr 2020
I have tried and she makes the appointment and calls to tell me she cancelled it. Shes done this like 5x. I think she may know whats going on thats why she doesnt want it confirmed by a Neurologist. I know they can be lil slippery snakes! Thankfully she has turned the complete opposite of what she was before Dementia & has turned her Kind Patient & Loving. I looked it up on this website & I hope it stays. If you read my story its sad & abusive & I was sexually assaulted & abandoned as a child. I have God on my side & know in my heart & mind she is a sick woman. She has the will but no medical directive yet ... Thank You for responding this website has left me not feeling alone thank you for the info & support.
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Dementia is called the long goodbye.

I don't think anyone really knows, so many factors that could shorten her life or increase her years.

From your description she is at the beginning of her journey. If she has sudden symptoms or increased symptoms you should have her checked for UTI. Those can take on dementia like symptoms.

Now is the time to have a discussion about what she wants for life sustaining measures, set up POAs and do a will. I am sorry your family is going through this disease.
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mommynightmare Apr 2020
Thank You for Your Gentleness & Kind Words
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