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Her appointment is next Monday, and probably to my detriment I have been reminding her of this appointment for the past few weeks. She is now saying she doesn’t want to go, and “I am tired of appointments,” and that she has NO problem with her memory. She actually has been having major memory issues, thinking she has two dogs (when she only has one), setting the table for three people when only two are at home, not throwing out old food, etc. I need advice as to whether to tell her she has memory issues and give her specifics, or just insist she go to the doctor.

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My mom wasn't interested in going to the neuro when her primary suggested it but then she was in her late 80s and I didn't push it - when it became necessary to take her at 92 it was for meds for anxiety when placed in a facility not for the more typical med aricept to slow progression of memory loss
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Can you tell her that her regular doctor insisted that she go?
Will promising her lunch out after ( or before) at her favorite place help?
" Mom, I need this doctor's advice so I can help you/plan with you/manage your health care better. This is for ME."

Would any of those work?
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KathySanJose Apr 2019
Thank you for your answer! I have tried all that, but she says she doesn’t have a memory problem and doesn’t want to go!!
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I know that it’s important to you to find out what’s going on with your mom. But it’s difficult for us elders to admit there’s a problem and it’s because we’re aging. Sometimes I become aware that I’m having trouble getting around and moving slower. I’m making “those noises” when I sit down or get up that I used to tease my own mom about. And I’ll be darned if I can remember the name of a certain student I had in class.

If Mom is not a danger to herself and if she’s just kind of messing up once in a while, could the evaluations and tests wait? Sooner or later, she will come to the realization that something is going on and she may even ask you to make an appointment. She is most likely very aware of what’s going on, but she needs to come to terms with it before she wants to do something about it.
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