You don’t answer to annoying, nosy sister. Mom selected you for this because she trusts you. Stop feeling like you owe anyone an explanation or justification for the decisions you’re making. As long as you’re abiding by the rules of Medicaid, that’s all you need to concern yourself with. Caregiving is hard enough without others needlessly butting in. Ignore sister
You are POA. You are NOT ALLOWED to discuss your mother's financial affairs with anyone unless she asks you. This is your mother's private concern. If your mother is no longer competent then she appointed you to obey these rules. Tell sister to go pound sand, and tell her if she has questions about your care and your spending and your record keeping then she should see an attorney and they should take you to court to account for your accounting of expenditures.
And I am assuming as you have done this for years that you are well aware of how to keep records and have done so.
If your sister wants to spend 1,000s of her dollars on an attorney tell her to go for it.
Thank you..she has done this to me for years. When we go out she says use moms money for dinner. It's our inheritance. My mom did get sucked out of everything cause she enabled my drug addict brother...that was over six yrs ago. I just forgive and help mom. Sis has hard time. Younger sister is thankful I've done this. 🙏
My sister is money frugal person.my brother spent our inheritance on drugs. There is nothing to spend on myself. I do all Dr appts..set up caregiver..bills etc..i try to give g cards for b days. Pay for meals with moms money because sister says it's our lost inheritance . six years of this...mom I make sure she has what she needs. No she had severe arthritis and losing eye sight. Yes I'm worn
Before that, the funds belong to the living person.
The competent living may decide to re-will their children's *future inheritance* to a charity, or their local cat home at any time.
Hounding a nominated POA to preserve assumed potential inheritance for self-gain is just.. umm, yuck.
Or does your sister wish to spend the money housing Mom in a lavish assisted living?
Methinks she doesn’t understand the real cost involved.
Do you think providing a detailed bank statement every week would appease her anxiety..? hmm Or just open a new can of worms to nitpick over? (Why didn't you buy the no-label teabags? I do. You can save 8c).
Is your sister worried about financial abuse of someone on Medicaid? I don't think she knows what it means to be on Medicaid. And, your sister doesn't know what a PoA is and does. Please suggest she educate herself on these topics. It's not your job to do that...you're busy enough.
This is one of the many challenges of being POA. Your sister is apparently unaware of what it takes to keep your mom going and what the responsibilities of being a POA are. But, having said that, I think in the long run it is best to make sister comfortable but not feel entitled to interfere. Not always easy and if you are the typical caregiver, you don’t need another job. Sometimes, not saying in your situation, the loved one mentions things to the sibling that makes them concerned. And we are all cautioned that elders are abused, manipulated etc by family. So, with no idea what has transpired, consider your sis may think she’s looking out for mom. Is your mom in good health, have appropriate health care, have good hygiene, keep a tidy apartment, have accessible food and water, get out on occasion or have friends or family in? What might sis see that concerns her? Does she think you are spending mom’s money on yourself? A few more details would be helpful. 🙂
Oh, and it’s not part of the poa job to discuss transactions. That’s moms private business she trusted you to handle for her.
Tell sister to go pound sand, and tell her if she has questions about your care and your spending and your record keeping then she should see an attorney and they should take you to court to account for your accounting of expenditures.
And I am assuming as you have done this for years that you are well aware of how to keep records and have done so.
If your sister wants to spend 1,000s of her dollars on an attorney tell her to go for it.
Before that, the funds belong to the living person.
The competent living may decide to re-will their children's *future inheritance* to a charity, or their local cat home at any time.
Hounding a nominated POA to preserve assumed potential inheritance for self-gain is just.. umm, yuck.
Or does your sister wish to spend the money housing Mom in a lavish assisted living?
Methinks she doesn’t understand the real cost involved.
Do you think providing a detailed bank statement every week would appease her anxiety..? hmm
Or just open a new can of worms to nitpick over? (Why didn't you buy the no-label teabags? I do. You can save 8c).
Oh, and it’s not part of the poa job to discuss transactions. That’s moms private business she trusted you to handle for her.