We have kept, maintained and visited my parents lake home since my Dad passed 3 years ago. Mom moved in with me right after Dad passed and in early stages of her dementia. We would regularly return to my parents home on a lake for weekend visits, holidays, etc. and enjoy our time home without issue when it was time to leave. Mom is now in Memory Care since late last fall.
We went back to the lake for a week this past Christmas and once we returned, there has been a significant decline in Mom's communication, delusions have started, her personality has changed, and she is obsessive compulsive about multiple things. Obsessive about my sisters wedding that isn't planned but she says it is, doctor appointments that we have already had, her teeth, and the lake.
She has become agitated and verbal about her hate for her Memory Care home and says she is going to stay at the lake as soon as I take her there. It has become the only thing she talks about and is angry and mean about it.
I discussed with her doctor and he recommends that I do not take her back to the lake. He says it will be too difficult for her to come and go like we used to. I explained how this is literally the ONLY thing she talks about and how do I manage not taking her? His suggestion was to tell her the house burned down or we sold it!
My Mom is not the typical dementia patient that I can distract her or she will forget about - she is OBSESSED about her lake home and to tell her that it burned down seems more harmful than taking her there. Telling her it burnt down would only turn into another obsession about seeing it and fixing it.
Has anybody experienced dealing with dementia obsessions or similar? My sister and I said we would rather try to explain to her that she has dementia vs. telling her their beloved lake home and legacy burnt to the ground or had to be sold.
Have you told your loved one they are sick?