Follow
Share

My husband & I are in the process of moving my 86 yr. old mother into our home. She is currently in rehab for a fractured hip. She was living in independent living in a Senior Community, but after her 3rd and final fall since living alone she asked to live with us. We love her immensely and both of us are welcoming her and want to make her comfortable and at home. What we weren't aware of is how this will affect our yearly income tax and her Medicaid if she should should ever get to that point. I am her FPOA and Health POA. She wants to add my name onto her bank accounts. We want to do everything legally and the right way. I work 3 days a week and will be her caregiver the rest of the time. My mom insists on paying me for her caregiving, just as she will a caregiver when we're at work. She wants to pay rent and to contribute to our household bills. I didn't want to do this....she's my mom!!!! However, people have told me it's in her best interest, financially, and ours. We just need to document everything from caregiving, what I do for her and when.....and all purchases and receipts for rent, etc. I need to know what I need to do and what I do not need to worry about. I never thought all of this was involved! As I said, we want to do this the correct way. I apologize for the length of this, but we are new to all of this and would welcome any and all advice. Thank you and God bless!

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
ambly, I’m happy that you have reached out here as you start this new chapter in your lives with your mother. Yes, consult with an elder care lawyer to have a contract drawn up and other advice related to caring for your mother. I think it’s admirable that your mother has lived independently so far and that she is willing to help with household expenses. This will not only help with the added expenses but also give her a sense of dignity. Best wishes to all of you.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

See an elder law attorney get a care agreement, a lease, protect mom's Medicaid should she ever need it and before she pays you a dime.

Mom will still have falls in your home.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Seek the advice of a certified elder attorney for a care contract and the proper documents you will need and how to plan for Medicaid if it is needed in the future.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

Thank you PookieDS. We will be getting home care for her. And an RN will be coming once a week. She'll also have a PT twice a week. My main concern is the legal part of keeping track of her finances and documentation of everything. I should have made that clearer. I apologize.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Although I appreciate you answering "surprise", I completely disagree with your opinion! Thank you though. I do have a grandchild and 3 adult children. 2 are out of state and one close by. I will not be "gutting" the privacy of my marriage by any means! Respect is the key.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Have you considered looking into home care agencies in the area who can provide you with a caregiver? The work can be extensive if you're taking care of her and keeping tack of everything. I work at an agency, and we've had several families who had similar problems. They tend to reach out to home care agencies when they need the option.

I hope you find a solution for your mother and your family.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

She could be gone on 6 mos or she could last another 10 years. You don't mention children, but if you have teens or grands, you will miss the time with them in favor of granny. You will be gutting the privacy of your marriage. I doubt anyone is trained to give 24 hour care 4 days a week. I think this setup is a terrible idea and that you will not have a good outcome, no matter how much you & your hubby love her.

It would be better for her to have professionals take care of her needs especially emergencies so you do not blame yourself after her death. In professional care, you can simply be her loving daughter who visits.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter