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He gets cash out of her account in $500 increments, so he doesn’t pay income tax on it and he’s declared her as a dependant. She gets $1500 a month and now he’s taking $2000 a month.. Is this legal?


I've contacted APS and attempted to contact her doctor because my brother cancelled her physical therapy from a broken foot.. she’s now confined to a wheelchair.. she’s 92 and blind as well.


My little brother and I are just sick and don’t know if there’s anything we can do. I’ve reported him to the IRS too.


My concern is that mom may not know what he’s doing and if she does she may be agreeing because she’s fearful. She was in assisted living for a brief time but then moved in with him..


He's made it clear that he wants all of her savings too he says he’s entitled to it for caring for her..

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H is certainly entitled to some of her monthly earnings as agreed on between the two of them, but I wouldn't think it should ALL of her monies.

There is a thing called a "Caregiver's Contract", (you can look that up on here too), that the 2 of them should discuss and agree upon, which should probably be done with a Lawyer when the family is squabbling over her care, but they can also be done privately too, just be sure to have the contract witnessed and Notorized to make it perfectly legitimate.

Certainly you do believe your brother is entitled to be paid, as she is living in his home, and she definitely should be paying her way, as everybody should. Beyond that, I am sure there is a certain amount of (hard) work that goes into managing her care, as being the primary caregiver is alot of work for one person to do, even with help from other family members. Make sure that Brother knows that he should be keeping good records too, should she be needing MEDICAID in the future!

It would probably be wise if the whole family sat down to discuss this, so that you all have it out in the open, and that your Mom understands, and that it is set up fairly between her and your Brother, this way there won't be any misunderstandings, and your Mom won't feel taken advantage of, but also knows her responsibilities in this.

It is much better to work together, as money has a real way of tearing families apart, especially at this stage of her life, she really needs all of her kids getting along, and working together, and making the best decisions going forward, and for the rest of her life. He may not be able to care for her forever, and what money she does has, needs to last her the rest of her life.

Family strife is so hard on family, especially between a elderly Mom and her kids. Try to work it out without dragging Governmental agencies into the mix!
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dp1956 May 17, 2019
Of course he should be getting paid.. we agreed on that. A few weeks back he no longer wanted her there but didn’t have the guts to tell her and wanted us to tell her.. then he said he wanted $5000 a month but wanted us to tell her. Now he’s taking out $2000 a month and claims mom has written him a check for $5000..he written checks on her accounts in the past and they were denied because he’d signed her name, bad signature..we have never said he shouldn’t be paid however we’d like him to give her the care that comes with that kind of expense.. a car ride, cooking her meals and not frozen dinners, take her to the doctor, don’t leave her alone without access to a phone.. this isn’t just as simple as $$$. There’s much more here.. I’ve offered to bring her here to Idaho with me.. she won’t.. I’d love to either have her here or back to the assisted living place. She’s got enough money to stay for 2 years.. then if she sells some property she has she’ll be fine.. problem is the greedy brother wants that too..
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Your mom lives with him though. Surely you don’t she should live there for free? She should be paying rent and contributing to the household. He’s also entitled to be paid as her caregiver. I wouldn’t be so quick to assume he’s doing anything wrong. Again, she lives with him. Under his roof.
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Reply to worriedinCali
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dp1956 May 17, 2019
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Contacting Adult Protective Services was the right thing to do. They can investigate your concerns and take action if needed. I think its best to let them investigate when you're concerned but unsure if emotional or financial abuse is occurring because they are trained and also more removed from the situation and able to look at it from another perspective. Protect mom!
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Are you talking about SS. SSI is a welfare. Call SS and tell them. They may assign someone else as payee.
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dp1956 May 17, 2019
So sorry no she’s on SS. I just spoke to my little brother about that. He handles her bank accounts.. I’d like him to get POA too..thank you for you input..
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