Oddly enough I moved to Florida from Delaware because I needed help. I dreaded it because my mom is a very difficult narcissistic person. I should have tried to stick it out and survive on my own, but I was severely depressed and couldn’t hold a job. I’ve struggled with depression, anxiety, and a few other mental health illnesses my whole life. I applied for disability and after a very long fight got it because of my mental health and back injury. During my stay in Florida my grandma passed away and very shortly after my mom was hospitalized (she nearly died from an infection and COPD from smoking for 50+ years). She actually survived and was put on hospice and oxygen. She is now oxygen dependent. She outlived hospice and they pulled out a year later because she wasn’t in need of their services any longer. She still had a lot of life in her.
My mom is currently living with me in what was my grandparents house. My grandma left her home to me because it couldn’t be left to my mom. My mom already had a home and could not have two homes on SSI. She since sold her home and now lives with me. Technically I know this house was meant to be in my mom's name, and I hate to go back on that, but my mom is very emotionally and mentally abusive and it gets really bad sometimes like tonight. She screamed at me and banged on my door. She yelled at me to go to hell and told me that I’ll never be rid of her.
I was trying to talk to her about the screen door that all of the sudden started locking up which means we will be locked out. She wasn’t listening to me and it was important so I pressed on and she started screaming at me and losing it on me. My only concern was that she would accidentally get locked out if I wasn’t home. It isn’t the actual lock that is the problem it’s the latch sticking out. It won’t go all the way in like it’s supposed to when the handle is pushed in. She thought it was the lock and said she never uses that anyway. I’m sorry. None of this back story actually matters.
What does matter is that I’ve been here for 8 years. Have been taking care of my mom for over 3 years ALONE. I don’t have a dad or any siblings. My mom is acting crazy screaming at me. I’m terribly depressed and almost never leave my bedroom. To make matters worse she started smoking again ON OXYGEN. I’m scared she’s going to blow us all up.
What can I do? She refuses to go to independent assisted living. Should I pack up and leave? I have nowhere to go, no money except for disability checks, and this house is in my name. I love my mom, but I can’t take the abuse. I need help so bad. She told me to go to hell, but I feel like I’m already there.
P.S. My mom has a little dog that has come to be like my own. She’s my only baby and I love her like a child. I’m going to end up losing her in all of this mess. I couldn’t feel worse or lower than I feel at this moment. Please give me some advice.