My mom is in memory care for a year now. She is just starting to deal with the facility being “home.” Any suggestions?

Have a lovely peaceful Christmas visit at HER new home.

Moving Christmas Eve is a lovely idea, and it truly will be better and kinder for you both.

Kmorrisco23, when Dad moved to senior living, I use to visit time daily... eventually I cut that back to every other day, then couple times a week, then once a week when I brought him items from the grocery store. I wanted him to feel independent and do what he wanted to do instead of him waiting for me to arrive.

Even though Dad was just at the start of his dementia, I never had him back to my house because we would have needed to drive by where he and my late Mom had lived in the same subdivision where I lived. I thought that would bring up sad memories. I couldn't picture Dad sitting on my sofa without my Mom.

The senior facility would celebrate holidays and have a nice buffet set up for everyone to enjoy. The residents were introducing their children, you could see how proud they were. That worked perfectly for us :)

Definitely bring the celebration to her. You know bringing her home will be too hard on her and you.

You really can't recreate happier days once someone has dementia. All the rules are out the window, because emotions, reactions, and comprehension have all changed.

Bring Christmas to her, because she likely doesn't remember your house and will be afraid and confused by new surroundings. Don't count on her wanting to stay, because she'll likely have exactly the opposite reaction.

That's what I did for the couple of Christmas's my mother was in Memory Care: I brought Christmas to HER along with homemade food she loved and gifts, decorations, etc., and we had our family celebration in a private library room in the MC. Then, when she got tired, she was able to go back to her suite right away rather than us scramble trying to figure out how to hurry up and get her back to the MC.

Just try to create a nice atmosphere for yourselves in mom's new home rather than dwell on heartbreaks and the rest of the negativity that's involved with dementia. Taking her to your house you KNOW will wind up to be a big mistake, so change your strategy and wind up enjoying the day instead. It CAN be done. Make it happen.

Best of luck.

Have you brought her to your house at all in the year? Will there be a lot going on at your house or will it be just you and a spouse (for example)? I ask because if it's loud and busy, she will probably be ready to go in 90 mins or so. But if it's quiet, then I would guess she'll really want to stay. It's so hard.