My Mom is in AL that I am paying for and can no longer afford. What do I do?

If Medicaid has waivers for AL in your state, then you get mom to apply for Medicaid and find an AL with an open bed that will take her “Medicaid Pending”. The AL may not be nearby. You may have to look a good distance away.

If no Medicaid AL in your state, your options are to me stark-
- mom moves in with family and between her SS income to pay for outside home health and family caregiving for free, her care is covered. 
Or
- mom moves into a board & care home. Lots cheaper than a NH and usually less than an AL. But her level of need will be so that it works for staffing of the board & care.
Or
- mom gets medically “at need” to be eligible for skilled nursing care in a NH. This could be possible depending on what her health care needs are. 
So what’s mom’s health like now and realistically how is she on her ADLs?

Also is mom not using her own income (like her SS) to pay towards her AL? 
If your paying all costs, why is she not paying some of this?

My Mom is using her total income and I am supplementing the rest which I cannot continue to afford. I do not understand why it is my responsibility to pay for her. I cannot get her NH approved. I am told over and over again she is not NH level. However, she is assessed LOC 2 or 3 and the ALs charge $400 to $800 and up extra on top of $3 to $4k for LOC. It is just ridiculous.

On the side of this page is a link to find care and housing. I found my mom an AL that she can afford using this site. Yes - it is about two hours away and in a rural area - but it is affordable, well run, and gets good ratings. Now to get her there.......

It is NOT your responsibility to pay for her. Why do you think it is? Have you told the AL that you will no longer be supplementing the cost? Have them help find her a place - i doubt they would park her suitcase on the curb....

Consult with an Elder Lawyer. They can think out of the box and within legalities.

Also your local area agency on aging. They were very helpful for my dad and step mom.

I googled which states have ALF that accept Medicaid. google.com/amp/s/www.payingforseniorcare.com/medicaid-waivers/assisted-living.html%3ftmpl=amp

What Kimber166 has experienced is the same for my area (New Orleans), AL rarely take Medicaid or totally self select from existing long term residents. Theres a “waiting list” but it means nothing for outsiders. Plus the existing state list for new beds is huge as LA has prioritized the more cost efficient PACE type community programs for the use of limited Medicaid waiver $$.

Not everybody or their family can afford PP AL at the rates of 5-8k a mo for the places in Uptown NOLA. Families - even with means - move mom out to the country 1-2 hrs drive away to the small town AL/NH combo type of facility at half the price. Care is just as good. And the staff know how to transition their health care chart to support “skilled nursing care needed” so they can become eligible for NH Medicaid.

Cast a wider net for AL.

I am in MD. I am told the Medicaid Waiver AL list has years of a wait list. How can you be in your 90s and survive a wait list? I will research the advice given and perhaps consult an elder care attorney. At this point, I have not found one single facility where I will not have to pay myself. The stress of this situation has just about ruined me.

Unfortunately, the US has chosen not to provide a reasonable medical system . Our "system" is geared to free market economics so it only works if you have lots of money. And I've known quite a few conservative types who like that just fine. If you don't have money you are a lazy, bad person and should be punished. Our ideas of family values and the free market system are not compatible in reality.