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We have looked into trying to modify and do chair slides, and nothing’s working because of the set up of the house.

Mweiss: Try an adult day care with shower accessibility.
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Reply to Llamalover47
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Some Adult Day Care programs will offer a shower. Call them and ask.
You can find a care facility that will admit her for a short term respite stay and provide bathing.

SOME hotels/motels have handicap accessible rooms with a roll-in shower, however you should go there and ask to see ahead of time! Many claim handicap accessible have no idea what someone who is wheelchair bound needs! It could be a bathtub with grab bars, and a heavy, self closing door which is almost impossible to get a wheelchair through!
Make sure its a ROLL-IN shower. I had to move my husband across country years ago, and we were lucky enough to find a cheap motel in Texas which had a very accessible room and roll in shower. Most, however were very InAccessible!

It may be time to start with regular sponge baths. This can be done while the person is sitting in their wheelchair, lay some absorbent pads underneath to catch any water that runs down. Or, it can be done on a hospital bed. I use a long absorbent pad under the body, with a smaller pad (chux) under the head, and a disposable pad under the groin.
You will need a basin or two - I use a plastic Gallon size bowl and a smaller one with a pouring spout. Use some nice, soft washcloths to wash, starting at the head and face, working your way down. I like to use a disposable washcloth for the underarms and groin, or at least use separate towels, so you don't spread contamination. If your patient is able, give them a small, soft drying towel, (like a hand towel) to dry themselves as you go. This keeps them involved.
For modesty, you can use a dry bath towel to cover the person so they are not entirely exposed, and keeps them warmer.
It's a lot of work doing a bed bath and a lot of cleanup! If you can find a hotel with a roll in shower to use once a week, that would be ideal!

For my husband, who is resistant to bathing, and any personal cares, I break it up into parts. With the first diaper change of the day, I use a bowl of warm soapy water and disposable wipes to thoroughly clean his lower half.
Then, he likes to get up, so while he is sitting up in the wheelchair, I find it is easer to clean his face, chest, underarms, before putting on a clean shirt.
I use his favorite soap and a couple drops of his favorite cologne in the water, to make him feel more comfortable.
You can find some shampoo caps which you apply and massage into the hair, then remove, with no rinsing required.
For my husband, I use a special medicated shampoo which I have put in a foaming soap dispenser (it needs to be watered down, about 1 part shampoo to 3 parts water) then, it is easy to squirt a little foam into my hands and massage into his hair. I don't use much. For rinsing, wrap a towel around his shoulders and gently pour a stream of warm water. I also have an absorbent pad underneath, whether he is sitting up in the chair, or on the bed.

With limited shoulder mobility, I have a trick for applying underarm deodorant;
I use a 3" or 4" square sterile gauze pad and apply the deodorant directly to the pad, also a little shake of anti-fungal powder, and just tuck this in under his arm, leave it there for a minute to absorb moisture and transfer deodorant to the skin, then remove and throw away.
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Reply to CaringWifeAZ
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Personal care homes have equipped showers with seats. Your mom needs a Hoyer lift.
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Reply to Onlychild2024
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I’m going to give a very unconventional answer, but there are a few ways that my friend and her caregiver did this. They got a membership to Planet Fitness ($10 a month) and there were accessible showers. Large dressing area etc. The other one was a truck stop. I know that’s way outside the box. They have showers but you also pay. They are accessible. The most expensive one was an accessible hotel room. But hospice actually paid for the hotel shower. I’m not sure how that worked. She rotating in-home caregivers for 20 hours a day that assisted her. She had MS and no use of her left side.
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Reply to DizzyDeb
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CaringWifeAZ Sep 19, 2025
Oh, that's a great idea! I never thought of a gym for shower!
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Does she sit on toilet? I bathe my MIL sitting on toilet. She can raise to standing for me to thoroughly wash backside. I simply put towels on floor.
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Reply to RetiredBrain
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Adult Day Programs often offer this as part of their services. You can contact your county's Area Agency on Aging (might be go by other names as well). They would be able to tell you of Day Programs in your area and help you to see if your loved one qualifies for any type if assistance/aid. While you are waiting for a determination for aid, you could pay for a half-day or one day per week at an Adult Day Program so that she could get help getting a real shower at least once per week instead of a sponge bath/bed bath.
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Reply to spectrum19007
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Their are no places I know of that offer this. Maybe call around to ALs or even nursing homes and see if, for a price, you can use their facilities.

I have two bathrooms where you cannot get a wheelchair in them. Not even a slider shower chair. Just no room. Do you have a single shower where you can just walk in? Maybe you could get a rolliator with a seat in there?

Call your office of aging and see if there are any programs where your house can be modified for a wheelchair. I am in a split and I could never have someone wheelchair bound live with me. Too many stairs.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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spectrum19007 Sep 19, 2025
People in wheelchairs can live in split levels. As long as they can transfer without too much trouble, you just need to have chair lifts installed. We have a flight of stairs to get from the front door to the main level and another flight to get to the bedrooms on the 2nd floor. Their are also stairchairs that someone can use to get someone who needs a wheelchair up and down stairs without having to install dedicated chair lifts.
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Sliding seat chair , Have a CNA come and assist with showering , speak with her Doctor or elder services . Medicare will cover a CNA for showering .
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Reply to KNance72
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I will second the Adult Daycare Center, as a lot of them do offer a spa day where they will help bathe/shower their clients, but I can only guess that if she can't get in and out of a shower that she can no longer get in and out of a care either.
So it may be time for just a bed bath a couple times a week. They're not very hard to give, and on the in between days you can just use the extra large body wipes and the waterless shampoo caps to wash her hair.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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Adult day care / senior centers:
Some have bathing or personal hygiene assistance; people come to these centers during the day. If they have ADA shower facilities, staff might assist.

Assisted living with day use or short stay services:
Some assisted living communities allow non-residents or have short-term stays where personal care (including showers) is part of what they offer.

How old is your Mom? Does she have other issues, like cognitive impairment or illnesses?

Who is going to be getting her in and out of a vehicle? Have you been doing this? Do you want to continue to do this?

What state/county are you living in? Maybe consider calling social services for her county and asking if wheelchair showering at a different location is a thing they offer.

Call your local Area Agency on Aging for resources.
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Reply to Geaton777
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