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They stopped taking her vitals, is this normal for palliative care? Please let me know. I'm very upset and confused. She has stage 4 lung cancer and it spread to her bones.

I'm so sorry you and your family are going through this. What you're doing for your mother is exactly the right thing.

Are there plans to move her from the hospital?

May it go gently with her, but don't forget to take care of yourself too. Eat, shower, get outside for some fresh air - make yourself do the basics, because it'll help you be a more comforting presence when you're with her. Keep in touch, hugs to you.
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SherinaStone88 Jun 6, 2019
Yes, she had gotten a hospital bed delivered to her apartment. My oldest sister is staying with her for a while to help her. Thank you for your words of wisdom and comfort. I will keep in touch.
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You need to talk to the staff at the hospital. Didn’t they have a care conference with you when she went on palliative care & explain everything to you? That is what they did with my FIL who had cancer. He Too went on palliative care while in the hospital. He was kept comfortable while still recieving chemo. She’s likely on palliative care so she can be kept comfortable & pain free while still being treated in the hospital. I am so sorry you are going through this. It doesn’t sound right that they don’t check her vitals, even on home hospice vitals are checked when the nurse comes.
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So sorry that you are dealing with this situation. Your mom is only 57? Goodness that's soooo young to have stage 4 cancer. So sad. But certainly not the only one I've heard of, unfortunately.

Anyhow, my understanding of palliative care is that the point is to keep the patient comfortable instead of focusing on treatment (as was the case prior to the switchover). So, I guess you have to figure out how to adjust your thinking to also focus on how she is feeling. Is she in pain? Is she comfortable?

I guess it's time to hold her hand and make sure that she is as comfortable as possible. Remember the good times and let her feel the love.
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SherinaStone88 Jun 6, 2019
Thank you for your words of wisdom and comfort. I have been doing just that even with posts on Facebook to her reminding her of the good times we all had when my siblings and I were growing up.
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I would have opted for Hospice rather than palliative care. With palliative she can still seek treatment. they will focus on symptom management.
If she is not having treatments for the cancer I would switch to Hospice. I think she and you will get more care from Hospice than palliative.
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worriedinCali Jun 5, 2019
She’s likely on palliative care while in the hospital and will go on hospice once she’s released. Just went through this with it FIL who also had cancer. the hospital stopped trying to “cure” him and instead kept him comfortable just like hospice would but still allowed him to be treated for some things.
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I see you are in NY, in America there is a difference between palliative care and hospice so it's important to know exactly what service she signed up for. From your question I'm assuming that treating the cancer isn't on the table, is there a reason your mother hasn't opted for hospice care?
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SherinaStone88 Jun 5, 2019
She is still thinking about getting chemotherapy but isn't sure because of the Drs telling her the different outcomes that could happen. She had received radiation treatments but ended up in more pain so I am not sure what is going on. It's not just me helping her out in anyway I can but my 3 older siblings are also helping care for her.
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I'm extremely sorry to hear that your mother's advanced cancer has spread.

What you can expect from a good palliative care service is that, as far as humanly possible, your mother will be kept free from pain and anxiety, and that her own sense of wellbeing will take priority over everything else.

Stopped taking her vitals... I sympathise with how radical this feels to you, when your loved one is after all in a medical setting. But the thing to remember is that anything that is done to her has to have a point. What difference will it make if her bp is up or down or her heart rate varies? The focus of palliative care is altogether the patient, how she is feeling, whether anything can be done to make her more comfortable.

Do you have anybody with you to support you as you go through this? The perfect - as opposed to good - palliative care team should also be considerate of you.
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SherinaStone88 Jun 5, 2019
I have my 3 older siblings who also help take care of her. I being the youngest don't really get to do much but talk to her and try to keep her as comfortable as possible by bringing up the good times we all he'd when we were all younger and spending time as a family.
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