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Mom had stopped eating and drinking for about 8 days. Her blood pressure was 90 over 60 and the hospice team gave us meds to keep her comfortable. Six days ago she started asking for bland foods like pudding and cream of wheat. She eats very small amounts. Hospice said she is rallying but this rally seems like it is longer than the ones I have been reading about. She said she is making a come back. Can this be true? Does rallying go on for almost a week?

I am so sorry. This is never easy. Death comes in its own way and in its own time. Sometimes suddenly, sometimes slowly. It’s different for everyone and no one can predict when. Medical professionals can usually recognize the signs, but even they can’t predict a time frame. Mom may be rallying, but that doesn’t mean she’s cured. She may have some “good days” because of your wonderful care and love for her. I’d like to think God recognizes this and is sending her some energy to say her final goodbyes.

Our family here on the forum sends you much love and some peace, too. Don’t hesitate to check in whenever you need us. Someone is always here.
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Reply to Ahmijoy
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No one can predict, not Drs, not Hospice Nurses, not anybody. I am glad your Mom is on Hospice, the Nurses are you best bet to understanding how things will go for her. Once your Mom stops eating completely and is in and out of sleep, the end begins to become much more clear, usually up to 10 days or so, then they begin being asleep most of the time and are taking in very little fluids.

I hope your Mom has an easy go of it, and that the medical staff is adequately treating any pain she may be feeling. Discuss your concerns with your Nurse, they usually know best how this goes. My thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time.
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NeedHelpWithMom Apr 25, 2019
Stacy,

I have one deceased brother but I have one brother that should have died with colon cancer. He was extremely sick and the doctor said it was a miracle he went into remission. So true what you said, no one knows for sure. Nurses will say they have had patients who were on death’s door and made it and other patients that they had no reason to think they wouldn’t pull through and they died. I feel like, when your number is up, it’s time to go and when it isn’t you won’t.

I am in no hurry to go but I am ready when it’s my time. There is an older lady that I know that has said she is afraid to die. That’s hard.
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Hi what a tough situation. My mother passed in December. She had been sleeping more and eating less then one day about mid November she got talkative and demanded some solid food and no more pureed food. As far as I know she continued with being able to eat more solid food. (I was a distance caregiver). Then suddenly Dec 8th she stopped eating and drinking and passed Dec 10th

This isn't exactly the same as your mum. My mum did not continue being talkative, but her rally did last a few weeks with regards to eating. When she did pass it was very peaceful.

Hope this helps.
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Reply to golden23
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Sounds to me like that final burst of energy which I have seen too often right before they pass. Just make her happy and let her have/do what she wants to do. Not much else you can do. Everyone's rallying time varies. Good luck and prayers.
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Reply to Riley2166
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My MIL died years ago of ovarian cancer at age 72 and she had episodes such as you describe although only it seems like not that long--she was at home after hospital said there was nothing they could do (1981, no hospice available). She did get pain meds. Ovarian cancer and pancreatic cancer are invariably fatal once they reach a certain stage, just takes healthier people longer to die. Having hospice care is wonderful, I wish had been available for my mom and MIL.
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Reply to Arleeda
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There are no time limits on a rally.

It can be days, weeks, months and years. My father's rally was over 10 years because his body performed it's own heart by-pass when his health said he wasn't strong enough for the operation. This was confirmed by the surgeon who later put in his fistula for dialysis.

My DH's rally was almost 3 years.
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Heather10 Apr 22, 2019
I agree, RayLinStephens. My grandfather rallied for five years with a very good quality of life.
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Just enjoy being with your mom while you can. My mom had a rally on her birthday, and she died about 10 days later. I was shocked, but at the same time I wasn't because she was ill at the NH. I didn't know about the rally until I read about it from the people after her death. On mom's birthday, she was enjoying her cake, very alert, and talkitive. However, strange thing happened on that day, her eyes were unusual wide opened when we arrived in her room, and she thought my dad was dead.

If you are close to your mom, just remind her that you love her. 🙏🏼🙏🏼
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Reply to Madtoe
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One day at a time.....
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Reply to lynina2
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This is not uncommon and is often called "The Last Hurrah," etc. before they pass. It often tricks the carer into thinking they are making a recovery when they usually are not.
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Reply to Llamalover47
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Stacy,

I agree with your view on nurses. I recently went to an ‘end of life’ seminar at my church. It was very helpful to emotionally prepare, if it is possible to prepare. I try. We can prepare in practical ways, we try to be prepared spiritually and emotionally but death is hard, no matter what.

They had a priest/psychiatrist as the guest speaker.

This priest had his philosophy degree, (all priests get a philosophy degree), then his theology degree. He also went to medical school to get further education to become a psychiatrist.

He was very informative and quite funny. He said that he loved working with the nurses but that it was difficult working with the arrogant doctors. He said to respect nurses for their hard work and that they are truly a patient’s best friend. I think it’s important to have a good relationship with the nurses. They have tough jobs, that’s for sure. They work very hard.
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Reply to NeedHelpWithMom
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SueC1957 Apr 25, 2019
Thank you NeedHelp, for giving the nurses a positive vote.
Unfortunately Washing State Senator Maureen Walsh (R) said that nurses probably play cards in all their free time. (She’s since apologized.) See it here;
https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2019/04/23/state-senator-said-nurses-probably-play-cards-work-facing-mass-outrage-shes-apologized/?noredirect=on&utm_term=.ccfc48f385f3
Never, in 40 years as a nurse, did I ever play cards. Gosh, we barely had time to cram a bite of food in. I challenge Maureen to shadow any nurse and see how much “free time” we have. Grrrrrr! 😡
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