My mom is currently in a hospital. Diarrhea. Colitis. Diverticulitis. RA. How do we make her see she needs round-the-clock care?

It's time now to call on Social Services in the Hospital to tell them that you have reached the end with caregiving in the home. Ask their help and intervention for in facility placement.
If Mom is moved to SNF that may be temporary, as is rehab, but those facilities should have social services as well, and do know that this is the ideal time to make this move; it is much more difficult from a home situation.

Your Mom may never understand, but you must gently explain that you are sorry, but can no longer provide for her the care she needs. Do not expect there to be no tears; there will likely be great grief in this for all of you, and it is worth grieving, but no one is at fault. No one caused all of this and no one can fix it.

I am so sorry.
Ask to speak to Social Services as soon as possible.

Ask for the hospital social worker and meet with her privately at first. Tell her your mother’s caregiving needs now exceed your abilities to provide for her in your home. We always found the social workers had a great network and knew a lot about what nursing facilities had good reputations and open space both. The social worker is also part of discharge planning and can be the one to discuss this with your mom, to be the so called “bad guy” It may help to present it as going for rehab after a hospitalization as that is common for elderly patients. Then the rehab becomes long term care on site when she cannot progress to a level where in home care is doable. Rely on the medical team and hospital staff, even clergy if that’s appropriate to your family, to discuss this with mom. It’s going to be hard for her, you be the understanding and loving family member, not the bearer of bad news

This is your golden ticket to freedom. She goes straight to the nursing home from the hospital, easy peasy. Do not pass go, do not collect $200.

Do not ever entertain the idea of her returning to your home for any reason.

It will suck for both of you in the short term, but it it what it is.

Find the discharge planning office in the hospital. Find out what plans they have been making with your mother. Is she being encouraged to go to rehab? Support that, and find a nice one where she can seamlessly transition to being a long term care patient.

Play hardball with both discharge planning AND your mother. If they and she insist on her being discharged to your home, state firmly state that you will NOT be providing transportation nor will you provide care at home, that you are leaving for several weeks. Mom will need someone to arrange in home care and she will need to figure out how to pay for it.

You are not responsible for your Mother’s care. Keep telling tge hospital that this is an "unsafe discharge" (keep using those exact words) and that mother needs more care than can be SAFELY handled at home.

Drop the guilt. It is blinding you to your mom's REAL needs.

Talk to someone at the hospital today about not discharging mom home. She has WAAAAY too much going on for you to handle at home. I would say something like that she needs a lot of help right now and needs to go to a nursing home. Someone else here often says a good answer is "Oh, I couldn't possibly do that". That is a good answer to your current situation. You can let your mom think that if she gets better, then maybe she'll be able to come home. I had strict rules as to when my mom could come home from the hospital and rehab from her knee replacements. For example: she needed to be able to get into the house independently (3 steps with a railing) and walk independently from her bedroom to the bathroom. Once her dementia progressed more, I placed her in AL because her care became too much to do at home, even with a few caregivers. I needed my life back. You will still have things to do for her when she is in a facility. And then you can visit more like a daughter instead of a caregiver which is so much better.

Enlist the discharge staff to tell mom she’s going to SNF so she can regain strength. (Don’t count on that, though.)

Your plan should be that she never comes back to your home. You and your husband must take care of yourselves now.

You have to talk to her doctors. Make sure they are FULLY aware that she can not care for herself AND that her care is more than you can SAFELY do at home.

You talk to the Social Worker at the hospital and or the discharge planner. Make sure they are FULLY aware that she can not care for herself and that her care is more than you can SAFELY manage at home.

Do not allow them to discharge her to your home,.

And maybe the first conversation you need to have is with your mom.
Tell her that her care is getting to be more than you can SAFELY handle at home.
Tell her that she can not continue to lie with you and expect you to care for her.
If there is an option for her to hire caregivers to come in and care for her you could leave that option open to her.

It sounds like her needs will be better served in a SNF. It’s very sad when it has to come to this.

My family recently had to place my father in a SNF. It is sad that it became necessary for us to do this.

None of this is easy. I wish you a good outcome.

Meet with the hospital social worker, and her doctor(s) be clear that you cannot take her back to your home and that she cannot care for herself.

Do not take her back to your house under any circumstances as she needs to be in SNF, refuse to take her, believe me the hospital will find a place for her.

You have dedicated enough of your life to her, now it's time to dedicate time to you and your husband.

Sending support your way!

Perhaps get SW or doctor explain to Mom that she needs more care than you can provide.