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This is the worst thing a family member has done to date so far. I am currently and have been POA for my mom for 8 years. My mom had a pretty bad stroke in Sept and is now weak and on oxygen in a nursing home. My sister is filing for guardianship right now and we all have to go to court in two weeks. It is almost hard to believe. I was just about to bring mom home as her final request and my sister must have been told by the nursing home against my wishes and now this. My POA says that if a guardianship is requested I am to be named the guardian. So I cannot imagine why she would want to do this. I am under so much stress of having to see mom in her current condition, do her laundry, ( I go to the home and tuck her in every night so she has clean pjs and a clean pad). I have done this every day since she went in there in may of this year except two days (when I was ill). I live in my Mom's house and have for 8 years. My Mom has the house TOD to me so I can sell it outside of probate court. She also has POD's for each of my silblings. So if my sister is successful I am assuming that could be reversed which would be a major thing. Every asset would have to go into a guardian account and then be taxed and I am so unhappy. Also, she timed the court date so it is right before my birthday.

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Does your sister visit Mom? Helped with any Caregiving? Call to see how she is. Financially help in any way?

Now you have taken care of Mom for years? Has it cost you any money? Were u able to work?

Like said you have a POA saying Mom wants you as guardian. Its a hearing. Doesn't mean sister will become guardian. I woukd think a Judge would take in consideration you have been the caretaker for years and the woman is dying. Really no need for a guardian with a POA in place.
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thislife1958 Sep 29, 2018
My sister just recently started showing up a lot and she is in a high position at an insurance company so she has the staff at the n home wrapped and they could care less about hipaa laws they share way too much with her which she then uses against me. She lives 5 hours away; was totally okay with me being there for 8 years until Mom fell. Now she has swooped in and is trying to destroy me and the rest of our family. She is cold and calculated about this. I have been durable poa for 9 years plus the poa says if there is a guardianship placed that I am named as guardian in advance. I'm not sure what she is trying to do but my attorney is going to defend me.
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Yes, the guardianship does stop upon the wards death - but your sister could do a whole lot of damage to what appears to be your mothers wishes - as she put in writing per the POA- up until your mother passes.

Does your mother have a will? Who is named as the executor? On one hand - no one, not even a guardian can change someone else’s Last Will. On the other hand - a guardian can sell things, move assets around so that what is stated in the will is no longer a possibility. Even as far as changing any TOD’s.

Get yourself the best attorney you can find. It does help that your mother expressed her wishes in the POA that if there is to be a guardian that she’d like it to be you but that does not ensure a slam-dunk by any means.

Get all your ducks in a row. Ask yourself what your sister has up her sleeve that could show her to be a better guardian than you. Be brutal and look at it as if you were your sister. What could she twist and misconstrue to make you look bad. Do your best to ensure there are no surprises. Then be even more brutal and stockpile your own ammunition against her. I know this sounds awful but it must be done to fight fire with fire.

Remember - YOU didn’t start this. But YOU need to finish it.
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thislife1958 Sep 29, 2018
Thank you so much Rainmom. I am putting all ducks in a row. My Mom changed her will by putting PODs on all accounts years ago and a TOD on the house so I as the executor can then sell it outside of probate. My sister used to be a realtor so I am sure she is looking at this from some angle there. I don't want the house. I have a house but my three children live there currently and one is moving. So after I sell this I will move there but I do all the mowing, maintenance and bill paying for this house. I am very clean and I take pride in keeping this house nicer than it was before.
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I would get advice from an attorney who actually litigates cases like yours. No matter the evidence, if you are not prepared and able to present and argue correctly, your case could be affected. I'd hate for you to have a bad outcome.

An attorney could also perhaps halt this thing by consent. They can find out exactly what the sister is going after. Does she want to ensure that your mother doesn't come home from the NH? Or, does she believe that she will have some rights to the property after her mother's death? She might withdraw from this if she realizes that the Guardian role stops upon the Ward's death.
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thislife1958 Sep 29, 2018
My mother is failing and she sadly may not make it until the guardianship date. She is aspirating into her lungs; has not been eating and is so weak. I feel so sad that she is not home but I am not set up to do oxygen and all the other things she requires in her state. I just wanted her to be here which was her request. I am contacting hospice to see if they can just come in and take over soon.
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I am meeting with my attorney this week. He is not elder care but he sits in as a magistrate at times and I believe he is that good. It is not the representation that is needed as much as support for what my sister is doing to destroy our family. She has been in an abusive relationship since her early 20s and is reeking havoc on everyone. She worked in a large company as a manager and I believe her need to control from being controlled has taken its toll. She is not even close to the loving kind person she used to be. She is also trying to help my brother get Moms house and he has been arrested prior many times. I have never been and I don't even know when I had a ticket last for driving it was so long ago. Just a sad situation and my Mom deserves to come home. I just want to see that smile on her face when she is in her house. If my sister has her way this will not happen.
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Ahmijoy Sep 29, 2018
It’s so sad when a person is so unhappy that they have to take everyone else down with them. My mother could be like that. I guess it’s their idea of revenge for what Life has done to them. I hope it all works out for you.
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I am so sorry you have to deal with this at a time like this.
You need to get yourself an Elder Law Attorney to straighten this out and represent your interests in court.
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