My mom is only 65 years old. The doctors say she has “dementia” but won’t give an answer as to anything specific. She’s gotten a lot worse over the last two years. Her constant nagging, negative comments and shadowing is taking a toll on my poor father (and me). My mom can still dress herself (but she wears the same clothes most days) and she can still use the toilet by herself (but she doesn’t flush). Within the last 3 months she has accused my poor dad of the most horrible things ... mostly sexual crimes against her and other people. I know none of it is true, obviously. But I’m tired of hearing it, I love my father and don’t want anyone to even have to hear such ridiculous claims.
I know I’m supposed to “play along” with whatever she says or change the subject, but I refuse to agree with her on that! Changing the subject doesn’t help, she will get screaming mad and demand that I agree with her. What do I do? My dad refuses to put her in a long term care facility and because of her constant shadowing of him, he is forced to cart her around with him (every moment he’s not at work - she has a caretaker during the day).
Last week, she jumped into the car with a complete stranger who stopped by her house looking for my father; she demanded he drive her to my house (a few miles away) promising him that my father would be there. Two days ago, I stopped by, she answered the door completely naked. I tried to calmly talk her into putting on her clothes but she started screaming/crying telling me to leave her alone and stop treating her like a child. She eventually put on just a pair of pants, but refused to put anything else on.
By the time her caretaker (a woman) arrived she had her bra on. After speaking to her caretaker, I found out that it’s not unusual for my mother to be completely naked when she arrives every morning. It seems to me that she must enjoy the “thrill” of people seeing her naked. She even flirts with any man who will pay any attention to her and has walked out naked in front of her own grandson. Everything she says is either sexual charged or negative, no matter who she’s talking to ... and she talks constantly!
She takes Serequil (not sure how to spell it) and it took over a year of her irrational behavior before my father to even agree to start treating her with meds. I’m sorry to be so bitter but it seems to me that she’s slowly killing my father with stress. Any advice would help me greatly!!!