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She lives outside this country. She has always had a paranoid personality. This happened when our family was visiting 1 1/2 year ago. Every few days when we talk on the phone she will tell me how worried she is about this. And then we get in a huge fight. Being 10,000 miles away it is really hard to explain to her that what she is assuming is false.

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It could be some kind of issue with mental illness or cognitive decline. Do you speak with anyone else who sees her on a regular basis, who might be aware of how she might be struggling with these issues? It could be that she needs some medical assistance. She could be obsessed or having delusions. Hopefully, someone can help get her a consult with a doctor or psychiatrist.

In the meantime, I'm not sure that I would engage in trying to convince her one way or the other about this. It seems that won't work and it could just alienate her further. I'd try to avoid the subject and redirect the conversation. Can you just say to her, mom, I know you get upset when you talk about that subject, so let talk about how you are doing, your weather, pets, flowers, etc. Anything else would be better. Unless, you have another person who can assist you with this, I'm not sure how you can figure it out long distance.
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