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Why would you take an elderly person out of their home, risking them of falls, flu/virus, stress on the heart and elevating pain and blood pressure, do the elderly not have the right to visit a pcp, once a year or as needed as they feel? It feels as though this is somewhat abuse on them if they are of sound mind and do not need to leave a safe environment, just to go, to go.

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When Mom was 83 she had to stop driving. Just about that time I took over paying her bills. I found she had been going to the doctor every two months. All she was on was cholesterol and bloodprssure meds. Our State requires you see your doctor every 6 months for refills of meds. My Mom was healthy as a horse at that time. I took her to her scheduled appt. I was asked by a nurse, family friend, why Mom was there. I told her " Mom has no idea, he just said see u in 2 months. If he says 'so what are we here today for' I am not bringing her back until she needs refills or she is sick." He asked, and I said "you told her to come back in 2 months". When the appt was over, I walked her right out the front door not stopping at the desk. My opinion, Medicare allows visits every 2 months and doctors take advantage of that.

Take Mom for her yearly physical. If you or she feel she needs to see a doctor then you make an appt. If questioned why you do not come more often, relay what you said here.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Sounds like the doctor is requesting a visit to do a cognitive evaluation on mom and you are having a big issue with thay? If mom is so fine, why would she fall if taken out, or have stress on her heart, pain or elevated BP?

You need to clarify your post, it makes little sense other than being a statement.
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Reply to lealonnie1
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Your Mom is fine until she isn't. Of all the people in my social circle, only 1 person's Mom passed away peacefully (and unexpectedly) in her recliner of her home. Everyone else's parents had falls, strokes, cancers, advanced dementias, complications from COPD, diabetes and renal failure, etc.

I'm really glad your Mom is currently fine. My Mom is now 95, lives next to me, and was pretty fine until about a year ago. Last week her driver's license got cancelled after she failed an assessment. This spring she asked for meds for depression and it has helped her a lot, but she still has rounds of paranoia, sundowning and increasingly poor memory.

Her osteoarthritis in her back, knees and hands, plus the neuropathy in her fingertips, is making her semi-independence more difficult. Thankfully I made her get hearing aids 4 years ago so that she can still engage with her family and neighbors, but I have to go over there everyday to put them in or she often forgets (plus the neuropathy makes it hard for her to put them in).

I'm not sure what the point of your post is? I agree that if a senior has all their faculties they can and should make their own decisions about where and how they live -- but if remaining in their homes means leaning on family to make that possible... then all is not what is seems. Although I have been attending all my Mom's medical appointments with her, I was surprised at how poorly she did on the cognitive tests for her driving (executive functioning, judgment, decision-making). If you don't see your Mom every day, you may be surprised, too. My neighbors think my Mom is "sharp as a tack".

FYI, my Mom's older sister fell 3x in her own home in the presence of family caregivers (broke bones each time). At 100 her last fall (on carpeting) broke her hip.
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Reply to Geaton777
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Bottom line, when someone has a sound mind, they make their own decisions, including where to go or not go. But I would not assume the home is safe. Falls and accidents happen in a home just as they do in other places
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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There is a VAST difference between YOUR mom that is 90 and is healthy, and can complete her ADL's and can live alone. (my grandma was the same for most of her life)

The flip side of the coin is a 90 year old that has to "depend on her kids" to clean, do shopping, organize medications and because of the medications is a fall risk in the 2 story home she refuses to leave, the one that has a laundry in the basement, and so the kids have to figure a safe way for her to do laundry or they have to add that to their weekly list of chores to do for mom so that she can remain "independent"

There is also a vast difference between your mom and the 90 year old dad that has dementia and can no longer safely live at home, alone but no one wants to upset him because some promise was made years ago that no one will put dad "in a home".

So sometimes there is a valid reason for taking an elderly person out of their home.
The decision should be based on the SAFETY of the elderly person AND the safety of the people caring for that person.
Deciding that mom or dad, grandma or grandpa can no longer live in their home is not an easy decision. Deciding where that person should live is also not an easy decision. It should be based on the level of care needed and what people can do. ( I honestly do not know if I could do now for my Husband what I did 10, 15, 20 years ago)
I respect ANY decision that is made where the safety and respect of all concerned is taken into consideration.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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I think it's at times a risk taking an elderly out of the home, but also I think it's more important for there mental health to get out feel a part of society, to feel alive and not looking at the same 4 walls every day.

Think about how we all felt during covid lock down, and the mental harm it did us all.

PS sorry about the bitcom hacker
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Reply to Anxietynacy
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waytomisery Jun 27, 2024
This is true .
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I was amazed to discover there are doctors that make house calls, check if that's an option.
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Reply to cwillie
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My MIL, at 90, lived happily and comfortably alone at her home. A little bit later she had a carer come in a few times a week to help get meals ready and to clear up washing and cooking stuff. She didn’t have regular doctor’s visits, she just went when and if she wanted to see the doctor. At 93 things deteriorated and she went to a NH. At no stage did she have dementia or any mental problems (though towards the end she lost the ability to speak). She died aged 99yrs 9 months,

I quite agree, there is no reason to force things if all is going well. However it’s also important to be flexible. Don’t say ‘never’.
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Reply to MargaretMcKen
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Are you upset because someone wants to take your Mom to a once a year visit with her Primary Care Provider? And, Mom doesn't want to go because she doesn't want to leave the house?
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Reply to QuiltedBear
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What is someone doing that you think is abuse ? Where are they taking Mom ?
Does Mom say she doesn’t want to go out ?
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Reply to waytomisery
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mymomisfine Jun 26, 2024
Just wondering if an elderly person who is doing fine at home, why is it that they have to go through so much just for a doctor visit, other than a yearly.
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I'm not sure I understand, some one in you family put you mom in a nursing home?
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mymomisfine Jun 26, 2024
No, my Mom lives on her own.
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