My mom is 89-years-old, has macular degeneration and is angry and depressed. Who should I call for help? - AgingCare.com

My mom is 89-years-old, has macular degeneration and is angry and depressed. Who should I call for help?

Follow
Share
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
5

Answers

Show:
PS She won't think of seeing a therapist. She isn't interested in audio books. She doesn't want to learn how to operate the CD player. She won't meet anyone new because she doesn't see well enough ("if only I could see better" she repeats) Her memory has gotten much worse in the past few months which complicates things. It's beyond frustrating. We've seen an internist and a neurologist but there is nothing can they do for her. She is in good physical health other than her eyesight.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Hello there, I don't have an answer. I have the same problem though. Only for me, it's my 85 year old mother-in-law. She has mac deg too and she is also angry and depressed. Nothing pleases her. She doesn't think she is depressed or angry. She is self absorbed and vain. She has no spiritual/religious connection that I know of. She won't have anything to do with her grandchildren or great-grandchildren. She won't call her old friends because they should call her. She has been living with us since October 2009 she has been out of the house twice without my husband or myself during that time. She sits in her room watching TV most of the day or she plays solitaire. She is so bored but won't admit it. She no longer drives of course and she can't cook or operate the washing machine/dryer. She can bathe and dress herself, she cleans her room, her bathroom, she washes dishes alot and she folds clothes. She complains about everything and rarely has anything positive to say. I practice the "thumper rule" all the time. I was grateful to see your post here. Maybe sharing with someone who has the same struggle will help somehow. Hang in there. Do the next right thing. Unconditional love is important and prayer helps as well. Take care and God bless.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Mary, first of all what kind of macular does she have? My mother-in-law has the 'wet' kind, and her doctor was actually able to stabilize one of her eyes so she's not totally blind. Also, you have to let your mother mourn the loss of her eyesight. It's a terrible thing to not be able to see anymore, BUT it's NOT the end of the world. Depending on her personality she may go on and on forever crying if you don't reign her in at some point. If she's basically a 'half full' type person, then you're in luck. But if she's a negative person already, this is only going to make it worse. I can still take my m-i-l to the movie because she can still see that huge screen. Also I have started reading to her on a fairly regular basis. Because of her dementia she can't remember much anymore, so I always choose books that are really 'out there' and she actually remembers them.ha. There are low vision websites to find products that will help her with what she does have left in vision too. For my mother-in-law not being able to drive anymore was the biggest blow. It was the total loss of independence that nearly killed her. My one goal was to try to fill in with the things that she used to be able to do on her own so she could face the loss a lot easier. We have become road trip, movie & shopping buddies since her husband died and she lost her eyes and memory. I have to admit though, in the beginning I had to ask the Lord God Himself for a supernatural love for her, cause she wasn't that nice to me for the first 35 years of our marriage. But God met me where and when I needed Him, and now I can honestly say I love her.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

You know your mother better than anyone if you have been seeing to her needs for many years. Most people need help when they are tired and feel they can't do much more. Hang in there and just talk to someone for support but stay with your mother and continue to see to her needs and give her the support that only you can.

Ms. Burke -
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Her doctor, her psychriatrist/neurologist, her geriatric doctor...all three types of doctors are good for this?
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Related
Articles
Related
Questions