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I said no and now she is very upset with me.

Thank you, my mom lives about 10 minutes from me, I am an only child so it’s just me helping her. She is in an independent living apartment. (My father passed nine years ago )My husband has no access to her funds. I did not just say no, I also gave her reasons why such as she recently lost thousands of dollars because she does not know where she put the money that I gave her out of her account. Also her apartment manager comes in to everyone’s apartment once a month to inspect and I don’t think it safe for her to have that large amount of money just sitting in her apartment She tends to hide the money for example in the bottom of a Kleenex box Yes I am her power of attorney and I have made a doctors appointment for her I will ask that a UTI test to be performed
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Reply to Ggreen
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Your mother is 88.

She has started to feel anxious and suspicious. She asked for your help. You said no.

Once you look at the steps (which have meaning) without their content (which didn't have any rational basis), you can see why she's upset, yes?

I agree with Barb - if this is a sudden thing, always check for a uti. They do terrible things to people's thoughts and are very sneaky. If it's negative, the worst that can happen is that you've wasted a little money on a dipstick test.

If the problem has been building up, or if it's a marked change but definitely not a uti, it's still a good idea to get your mother to a doctor and get her checked out.

To enable you to do that, you will need to reassure your mother and get back in her good books. Are you able to visit her?

Don't contradict or argue with her about the money; you can always stall about the bank, say it's a public holiday or you'll have to get photo ID or their opening hours have changed, whatever.

Instead, ask her questions and listen to what she's saying. You need to find out where her fear is coming from.
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Reply to Countrymouse
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We need more information to give you a meaningful answer.

Has your mother been diagnosed with dementia?
Are you her power of attorney? Is the POA in effect?
Does your husband have any access to her accounts?
What does she intend to do with the money she withdraws?

If this is a sudden change in mental status on her part, get her to a doctor to be tested for a urinary tract infection.
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Reply to BarbBrooklyn
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