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My mom only wants to talk about poop everyday. She tells her doctor she never goes or just cannot get it to come out. She started taking some natural fiber Metamucil daily and miralax added every other day and was going to the restroom once a day. Then she told her doctor that she was still having to strain so her dose was doubled so now she sits on the toilet at least 5 hours a day. I am very concerned that her obsession is causing her to make herself sick. Seeking any advice on how to handle this situation.

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My Mom also had constant constipation issues. Is she on the toilet so much because she is having trouble passing stool or because she now has several b.m.s a day?
If you increase fiber intake you definitely need to increase water intake or it can actually cause more constipation which is what metamucil does to me. I mean lots of water/liquid. Try a different fiber supplement, too. Fibersure is tasteless and can be easily added to foods, beverages etc... There is also the old standby of prunes, prune juice.
Get her checked out by a colon specialist to make sure there are no blockages if you have not already. My Mom was found to have a rectocele when she was too old to think about fixing that surgically and was told that she may need to sometimes press a certain way with fingers to have a b.m. Make sure she gets some movement and exercise to help the bowels move as well. Iron and some antidepressants can be constipating.
If it is obsession and not an actual bowel issue then I would think dementia and the problem needs to be gone at from another direction.
My Mom died of a bowel perforation finally at age 96 and she was justifiably obsessed with b.m.s having had constipation issues and IBS for decades, so make sure there is no physical cause for this issue if you have not already done so. All the best to you.
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Reply to Pjdela
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A low dose of Lexapro did wonders for my mom's anxiety and helped to tamp down the obsessions to reasonably tolerable level.
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Reply to Dogwood63
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Mom needs medication to control her OCD behaviors associated with dementia, not laxatives.
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Reply to lealonnie1
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funkygrandma59 Apr 27, 2025
Amen.
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Read the side effects of her medication for starters.
Did the doctor palpate her stomach to confirm her complaint?
Ruling out a possible fixation, the culprit may be not enough hydration.
As we age our urge to drink, our thirst perception, tends to diminish.
A solution to many, many ills beside constipation is more water.

Sneak water into her meals through; soups, and produce such as watermelon in convenient chunks, a cup of soup as an appetizer before lunch, and dinner. Toss her a peeled clementine orange every day. Have prepared celery sticks available. Tomatoes are a great watery source too. Sauerkraut…you want to talk about earth moving? Sauerkraut contains both probiotics and prebiotics. Taste test different brands of saurekraut until you find one that's real good. I love a brand cooked with a touch of white wine from Lidl's. Serve that once a week w/hot dogs. Hotdogs aren't health food but at 88 I'm for whatever helps to make eating saurekraut more attractive. Or spring for a Reuben. If a person is dehydrated, the caffeine in coffee, black tea, colas, and chocolate can make constipation worse. Bananas should not be offered. Rice is binding. And salty snacks are bad for those who are constipated.

Water, water, water!!! Mother Nature's lubricant.
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Reply to MicheleDL
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If you cannot monitor and control mom's obsessive taking of these drugs she should be moved into care, which WILL monitor all this by putting medications in the control of a medication nurse.

Obsession with the bowels is part of dementia for very many. It becomes very habitual and circular. For now you know to get these medications hidden and controlled, and you know that the obsessive compulsive thing around bowel movements will be a daily trial, but this can really wreak hell on a household. Mom should likely be moving into care with this level of dementia.

I can also suggest to you that citrucel may work better than metamucil. It does for many. Same idea, really and even the same ingredients but it ferments a bit differently and it causes much less gas. This takes the constant feeling of pressure and a "need to go" out of the gut. It is getting harder and harder to find Citrucel, but I really do suggest you try to, and try a switch to see if it might help at all.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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If you know she isn't actually constipated it seems you won't be able to convince her. You now have a different issue: she may have dementia. Now you should probably take her in to her primary doctor for a cognitive and memory exam, and a full physical. Once she's had a physical, then her primary can prescribe meds that may help her with the OCD symptoms and maybe anxiety. You don't tell your Mom this is the purpose of the exam. You tell her it's about her bowel issues, but you discretely tell her doctor it's for dementia and meds for her OCD/anxiety. You need to be in the exam room with her, sitting behind her and making sure she is answering the doctor's questions accurately. If she's not, then you discretely nod or shake your head. This won't be the doc's first rodeo. I've done this succesfully with both my MIL and my Mom. If your Mom balks at having you in the exam room you tell her you're there to take notes so that she'll remember everything the doc tells her. Make sure to ask for the Medical Representative HIPAA form at this appointment, have your Mom write in your name so that her doc can discuss her private medical information with you without her having to be present or give consent again. If you are your Mom's PoA then you should bring these forms to the appointment and have them put copies into her medical files.
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