My mom is 72 she has dementia, denies it and is her own worst enemy. How do I deal with my frustrations?


No one can tell her anything. She is an extremely high fall risk. I have to almost physically make her take a shower. Ready to pull out my hair.

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When was your mom diagnosed with dementia? Does she live with you?

My dad (who did not have dementia at the time) gave up on showering. I could never get a good reason why out of him but it became a problem. I tried everything to get him to shower from cajoling to begging. Finally, out of desperation, I ordered a bath aide through my dad's doctor's office. I informed my dad she was coming and he relented. She was in and out in about 30 minutes and she even trimmed his beard. He never looked so good! She came a few more times when my dad decided he wanted to shower on his own so he did. We never needed a bath aide again. And it was covered by Medicare.

Try taking a step back and let someone else do your mom's shower. I didn't give my dad the opportunity to say no. I just told him that it had been X amount of days since he had showered and it was time.

Good luck!
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I don't have the answer but just needed to vent also; I am going thru the same thing. My Mom has Dementia and lives with me and my husband. I love her dearly but finding myself so frustrated that no matter what I do to help her , she is always ready to argue. She also can be convincing at times that she understands but she is always trying to prove she knows what she is doing. It becomes a love hate relationship. Maybe we just can't accept that they are no longer the person we once knew. I struggle every night with how I have reacted thru out the day with her. I can't seem to not argue with her even when I know it is useless. I am praying about it daily. Wish you patience and calm.
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