My mom is in an assisted living. She takes hydrocodone 4x a day for her chronic lower back pain (failed back surgery). Lately over the last 2 months she has been running out of them too soon. At first I thought the staff was stealing them, so I kept them at my house and only gave her a weeks supply at a time. That is when she started running out of them before the week was up. She was taking more than her dosage. So I turned it over to the assisted living to give her pills. Actually I wanted them to give her all her pills, but she talked me out of it.
She says I think I am her mother and she accuses me of looking at her a certain way. She got on me about my wine habit. I have 2 glasses a day. This isn't a very pleasant situation, any words of wisdom on how I should handle this.

My mom is truly addicted to hydrocodone. I turned all the hydrocodone to the AL. Let them be the bad guys and handle the distribution. Currently we are not speaking.
We have a caregiver over once a week to take her to her doctor's appts and pick up groceries (she needs, they supply 3 large meals a day and snacks, I have eaten there) . It is a very swanky place and she is lucky she can afford it. Even though we have a caregiver getting groceries, she still needs me to pick up things. She also complains about the care givers etc. If she sets her doctors appts ahead of time she can get the AL to take her.
She is just a frustrating woman and an addict too.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to gati1263

My mom was addicted to hydrocodone and Xanax - if she hadn't totaled her car and come to live with me 10 yrs ago, I have no doubt she would not be alive. Most pharmacies in AR will not refill a prescription before a certain date to prevent overdose/abuse. She is also what I call "in bondage" to cigarette smoking and we had to switch her to an e-cigarette several years ago to take away the fire risk. She hated me for that. She smokes constantly and looks like the caterpillar in Alice in Wonderland! If she stays with my aunt or sister, they will get her real cigarettes and then she hates me for taking them away from her before we come home. She curses, throws things and acts like a child - only I can't discipline her, LOL! I am looking into Assisted Living that will allow her to smoke outside. As a Christian, by the grace and help of God I do my best to show her love and kindness even in the face of her hatred. Some days are better and some days I just say, God, I'm not doing this anymore. Try to let the AL handle it and realize her choices and consequences of her actions are her own.
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Reply to nonnie517

She does not need to be given 30 oxy's at once if she's running out of them too soon. And to be honest I wouldn't want anyone except her doc or nurse administering her meds
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Reply to Stephanie4181

I looked up Hydrocodone, and it does sound as though your mother is probably addicted, as well as in pain. No wonder she hates you! Overdoses could certainly kill her. Talk to her to see if that’s what she wants.
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Reply to MargaretMcKen

It sounds like Mom has become addicted to the painkillers. Have you informed her doctor and the AL staff of this? Oxycodone is not a long-term drug. It’s affecting her mind and she is angry that her supply is being controlled by you and the AL. This may be causing the unreasonable accusations she is leveling at you. I would not give her enough pills for a week for her to control herself. That’s what—close to 30 pills? The AL should control all her pills, whether she likes it or not. If they are to care for her, her meds are a part of that care.

I read your profile and you say that your weekends are consumed by running errands for her. I would ask at the AL if they have a pharmaceutical delivery service. Buy her enough snacks for a few weeks and tell her when they’re gone, they’re gone until the next time, in a few weeks. Same for other things she needs. If she’s in a small room or a shared room, she shouldn’t need a lot of “stuff. When she claims she needs something,tell her you’re putting it on the list and will deliver it on your next visit.
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Reply to Ahmijoy

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