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My mom threw a royal fit this morning when I told her it was bath time. She got mad, cursed (which is not her), and began to cry. I backed off, and no bath today. What can I expect next with this horrible disease? She's in mid stage. I'm thinking 5 or 6. Her doctor has only said that she is mid/moderate stage. I just wonder how long before I will start seeing the latter stage creep in. I recently bought her Depends undergarments, as she is now having issues. She forgets my visits and asks when I am coming to see her. Most days she thinks I'm a nice lady who visits instead of her daughter. Thanks for any insight.

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Why get all wound up about bathing? I know many people do. I don't. It's not until less than 100 years ago that that was even a regular thing. Let alone a daily thing. I remember when most people in Europe didn't shower everyday. That wasn't very long ago. Many still don't.

The science is also pretty clear on this. Bathing everyday is not good for you. Getting squeaky clean is really not good for you. Do I shower everyday to get squeaky clean? Of course I do. I was brainwashed while young and it's hard to break the conditioning. Even though I know I would be better off if I didn't.
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JoAnn29 Mar 2019
My shower is how I wake up. I don't drink coffee. I won't go anywhere unless I have had a shower. Still have to wash your face and wet your hair to blow dry. Just seems easier.
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It’s fine not to bathe every day,and use wipes in between baths, but going 10 days without bathing or washing hair is nasty, and the stink that everyone but the stinker can smell is very unpleasant.
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I had a shower put into a powder room. So bars were put in. It was easy to warm up the room with a little heater. I had a shower chair Mom could sit on. I had a hand held shower head. I would wet her down, turn off the head, soap her up, and rinse her off. I would get her dried off quickly and dress her in the nice warm bathroom.

If she refuses a bath then ask a little later. They become like small children. I swear my Moms facial expressions were those of a child. When Mom was in the AL and refused to get a shower or go to the bathroom, the CNAs would tell them her daughter said she had to. Then she did it.

In facilities, they only bath them 2x a week maybe 3x.
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anonymous272157 Mar 2019
Yes, they do get like small children. I liked your description of her facial expressions JoAnn29.  When I brought my aunt into the MemoryCare NH, her nurse took her to her room while I did paperwork. When I got to her room, she was being told that she was going to have a bath, and she whimpered 'no' while looking terrified and her look at me was a plea for Please save me!  I reassured her, but they had to do it.  She had scabs on her thigh from the rehab I had taken her out of the day before, and a possible bedsore starting.  After the experiences there, no trust was understandable, but she relaxed and trusted quickly at this new place.
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Has she become afraid of the bathroom, being cold, or the sounds of running water? I understand sometimes ALZ patients become sensitive to loud noises and a tiled bath can be pretty noisy when the water is running. Maybe you could try bathing in her bedroom. My father with vascular dementia enjoyed a "bed" bath where we heated the room, used one wash pan for soapy water and a second pan for rinse water. Placed warm towels from the dryer under him to protect the bed and only uncovered one area at a time for washing; then applied warm lotion. (Daddy was obsessed with not getting cold!) It was a bit of a production but we did get cooperation. I used a similar method with my mother right after a fall when she didn't have much mobility but Mom would sit in a chair.
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My wife quit taking showers after she forgot how to adjust the temp. Our step in tub was a God send. She loved it. Mostly playing in it and just soaking. She really liked the hand held shower.
Later mobility was a problem so it was just sponge baths. I have nothing against sponge baths. I took them until I was 16 when we moved into a house with a tub.
You might try the bath cleansing wipe. She would not have to undress to use them.
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Would it be possible to either have the doctor order someone to come in and bathe or or just hire a nurse's aid come in and do it. At most, she needs a full on bath once or twice a week. You don't want to run the risk of some kind of skin infection or IT I. The stink of not showering for 2 or 3 days is horrible, I mean really horrible.
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