My mom has stopped eating. Is there anything we can do?

In my experience, people who stop eating are done with living. She is 91, take yourself out of the picture and make sure she is safe and comfortable. Extensive treatments are often unwanted. Tell her you love her and stop the psychological judgements. She has had strokes and her brain is no longer up to speed for all that stuff. I was an RN and Anesthesia Practitioner for 38 years. My parents stopped eating too. Hospice is an option if she agrees or is capable of making that decision

Yes, hopefully you will "get some answers" but the more likely outcome is that you will not. In the latter stages of dementia it is common for elders to take in little to nothing in food. Do know that they can often live months, even years on little to nothing. This is a 91 year old person. Now is the time for the family to decide whether or not heroic measures are called for in order to do tube feedings. As an RN I hope you do not decide to do so, and given what I have seen in terms of NG and PEG feedings I have written it DIRECTLY into my advance directive that I will accept no forced feedings either by hand or tube,
We all die. Not wishing to eat, a wasting away is rather a merciful death over all. Consider now if it is time for palliative care and/or hospice care, end of life care.

Does your mom have a living will? Does she want her life extended in every way possible or more comfortable with letting nature take it's course? If she hasn't already documented these things and is still competent to do so, maybe it can be talked about with the doc tomorrow.

If this were my mom, I would ask about a hospice evaluation. A lot of people basically stop eating when they are nearing the end. I'm not saying that is definitely what is happening but is a possibility.

Best of luck.

My mother will be 91 tomorrow and has virtually stopped eating. She has been in a NH and declining very, very, very slowly to the point she can't do anything, including get out of bed. She is now virtually deaf, sleeps almost all of the time, has dementia and now isn't eating. She does drink water, chocolate milk and coffee.
I discussed with her nurses, and they said once someone decides to stop eating, there is little anyone can do. As my mother is drinking, they said it will be a very slow (as if it hasn't been long enough) decline. I will not prolong her existence with any intervention as she had said herself that she is ready to die.
You may not get any answers as to why your mother isn't eating. She may have just decided to stop eating. There will be little that you can do, especially if they aren't prepared to allow anyone to help, even with advice.

I’ve experienced the ‘hunger strike’ behavior in two ways that ultimately had little to do with food. It was all about keeping control.

My grandma-in-law would do the “I’m not hungry!” thing often. She had dementia and macular degeneration. Her bad eyesight was the initial cause of refusing food. She couldn’t make out what was in front of her and she’d smile, wave at the plate and say “Oh, take it away!”. She was trying to mask how bad her vision had become, or that her mind no longer recognized certain foods. Eventually the NH had to rely on Ensure to keep her going. 

My own grandma didn’t have dementia but was so stubborn and angry that she’d use not eating as a means of control and expressing anger. If we put a plate of food in front of her, she’d turn her head and make a scowly face like a 3-year-old. You’d have thought we’d put bugs on her plate, she looked so repulsed!

She broke her hip and was in a very nice rehab (even she agreed it was nice) place for a few months. She lost about 25 pounds quickly and insisted that “it’s just fluid”. Refused Ensure and appetite meds didn’t help. She’d eat a piece of lettuce and would just do the tiniest nibbles like a squirrel, then insist she’d eaten. It was so aggravating. Finally her doctor sat next to her and asked if she would prefer a feeding tube. Of course she got mad and said “NO!”. He said he could not force her to get a tube, but he flat out told her that if she continued this hunger strike game, that she was going to die very soon. That scared her. Guess who ate over half her dinner that night?

Sounds like Gastroparesis, which is something I developed after getting very mild Covid. It is one of the common issues some people have after Covid. I also lost my sense of taste and smell, which is often connected to Gastroparesis and or Covid. I was 158 lbs, in March this year and in two months lost 30 lbs. I'm stable at the 128 lbs now, my weight doesn't climb or drop, I'm just not hungry. My discomfort is in the high area of my stomach, you feel so full after eating the smallest thing, which is what Gastroparesis does. I could go days without eating or drinking, just didn't feel hungry. Doc told me to try and drink two Boosts a day it's best chilled in the fridge. I began to eat bits of this and that throughout the day, it still may not seem like enough, but it does work for me at 70, and it should work for her at her age. Don't try and get her back to her orginal weight, just make sure she eats what she can. PS: my doctor told me to eat the things I really like (junk food). She was quite serious about that. Then you gradually add healthier food to the lot. Be sure you keep her on a Boost, or something similar. We get mine in bulk on Amazon and you have to keep check for great deals, as they jock the prices around daily. You may want to evaluate if she needs a stool softener. I've never ever needed one until I developed this condition, due to eating less and bowels holding contents longer. She may not need it if she drinks a lot of liquids.

Good she's seeing the dr soon.

But don't expect any miracles.

My MIL has lived on less than 400 calories for almost a year. She eats a hard boiled egg for breakfast and possibly on small piece of cheese. She drinks coffee with 3 T of Boost in it. That's it.

Incredible to me she's still standing. She has not lost a lot of weight, and she is considered to be 'doing great' in Hospice. IDK what that means, and nobody tells me.

She doesn't have issues with swallowing, she just doesn't want to eat. That's what put her in Hospice to start with. We were told 2-3 weeks at that level of malnutrition and we're moving into month 10 or 11 with this level of caloric intake.

MIL also sleeps about 18 hrs per day. She doesn't take any meds except for benzos to keep her from 'raging'.

It's fully expected she will live another 6 months to year.

I agree with others that Mom may have had another stroke . Dementia could also be further along than you think . She may have a partial bowel obstruction too . Is she having swallowing problems ?
Will Mom drink boost ?

Let us know what doc says .

New stroke or not, maybe her body is really just "winding down."

She may have had another stroke if she's slurring her words, which is what happened to my mother during the last year or so of her life. She was having TIAs and began slurring her words and leaning heavily to the right side in her wheelchair. Nodding off to sleep A LOT too, which was out of character for her. She also cut down her normally large daily food take dramatically. I got her a hospice evaluation and she was accepted in December of 22 and passed in late Feb of 22. She'd also suffered a lot with GERD and other stomach issues over the years. Prilosec did help her.

You really can't do anything to make an elder with a GI issue eat more or, God forbid, drink water 🙄. See what the doc says and go from there I guess.

Best of luck to you