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I live in Hawaii and my Mom lives in Florida. She has stage 4 COPD & Emphysema. She is on Oxygen 24/7 now. I flew to Florida to be with her and help as much as possible. I don’t know where to start to care for her. Can someone please help me? She is very weak - sometimes falling down, doesn’t get out of bed and is hardly eating. Sometimes she gets a burst of energy but for the most part she stays in bed.


I’m scared and want to help my mom. She won’t quit smoking. Can someone please tell me what to expect? I have no idea what to do.

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I hope your mother is not smoking while on oxygen. An elderly w/c bound woman in our town died from smoking with oxygen. The entire apartment building caught on fire. Do you have medical POA? Her doctor should have placed your mother on Hospice. Please check into this for your mother. She needs a good support system and hospice will see to it she is comfortable. You will have more help, usually an aide three times per week for bathing and an RN visit 2-3 times per week depending on the agency. We had Hospice for both my father and brother. Both were peaceful and comfortable.
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Thank you so much everyone. I didn’t think I would get answers so fast - thank you. She is only 59. I left a msg for her Doctor today. I’m authorized to receive information. There are ?’s I want to ask the Dr. that I don’t feel comfortable asking her - in regards to what the future looks like. She was rough on her body so that is why this is happening while she is so young. The mental aspect of this is taking a major toll as well. I will try to instill as much hope and love as possible.
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Please assist your Mom to make you her Power of Attorney for Health Care, and to make an advance directive which will tell others and yourself what she will accept in terms of long term care. Attend an appointment with your Mother's Doctor. This is your best guide going forward. Speak honesty with your Mother and her Doctor. With her intent to keep smoking she may have accepted now that she will die of COPD. Comfort measures are your best hope for a more comfortable end for her. COPD is not curable. I encourage you to ask for all the support you and your Mom can have and wish you the best of luck. In the meantime be certain Mom doesn't smoke in a room where O2 is running as it can cause fires and severe burns to the face.
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Hope4MyMom Oct 2020
Thank you so much. Yes I will inquire about that this week. I want to make sure I understand everything and don’t mess up. She usually goes in the hospital 2-3 times per year. She has 2-3 nodules on her lungs - not cancerous, we received those results a few weeks ago. She has a hard time breathing even on Oxygen. She usually has it at 2 but we had to make it 3 the past couple of days.
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Your mother needs medical care - now. On oxygen and still smoking, how sad. She may need to be hospitalized. Does she live alone? My mother passed away at 79 due to COPD/emphysema. She too was a heavy smoker.
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AlvaDeer Oct 2020
As a nurse I can assure you that this is not unusual. I have seen patients with throat cancer and a trach still smoke.
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