Hi Mcbicb, The short answer is yes on both counts. Both my parents are gone now but I was the child responsible for putting them into a LTC. Mom was 95 and in late stage dementia (and wouldn't have gone in alone), Dad would not have been capable of living alone so they shared a room which was very helpful BUT there was a great deal of confusion and fretting from both of them. (I will add, after we lost my mom in March 2019, Dad seemed to rally until he required cataract surgery in Nov/20. After that he was very confused and by late Dec/20 was starting to have trouble remembering the names of family members (unfortunately anesthesia will do that but he was blind in one eye by that point so the cataract surgery on the good eye was necessary) If time permits try to spend as much time with your mom as possible in her new environment to help her acclimate to this new normal. (I live in NY but opted to stay for 3 months in Canada to get them over the hump and found that it also assisted with getting the staff familiar with our family) Best of luck to you and glad you found this site. There are wonderful people here that are happy to offer up pearls of wisdom while you go through this trying period!
Thank you. I visited her today and she seemed to already be bonding with her aids. What a relief. Thank you for taking the time to provide your guidance. I am very grateful,
Time will tell. I witnessed first hand how much anxiety can provoke more hallucinating for my brother. For him the ALF was a relief in that others handled most things for him. Generally on AgingCare it is oft remarked upon how much routine means for someone with any level of dementia. You will learn soon enough if another level of care is needed; I suspect that your Mom will adjust a lot over one month's time and hope you'll update us.
Moves can be difficult for anyone. She may improve a bit or a lot. She needs to get to know her way around and get to know the people that she can depend on. Once she does that I am sure she will maintain that as a "baseline" for now, until a natural decline occurs. (wonderful thing about dementia, ya just never know what will cause a decline and things that you would think would cause one don't and others do) I would wait it out and see what happens. As long as she is unable to leave the facility on her own that is the important thing and one of the reasons I am hesitant about AL for people with dementia.
She does not wander. That is a blessing. She can answer questions when ask and loves to talk about her childhood. I think the ALF I found will foster that friendship. Thank you all for the guidance.
Yes, I move her tomorrow. She can still carry on a conversation and the memory care unit had mostly nonverbal patients. I was afraid the lack of social interaction would be hurtful. I am cautiously optimistic that she will adjust more there and adjust.
My guess is probably both. As we get older routine and familiarity is comforting, any move requires some time before we adapt to the new place and routine. If your mom has any cognitive decline these things are even more important and not fully understanding or remembering the reasons for why things have changed would confuse anyone. From everything I know it’s very common for seniors with memory decline to be more confused, have an attitude change or even be scared more often for the first few weeks while they imprint the new surroundings, people and schedule. Once adjusted of course this place becomes the safe, familiar place and moving again will likely create the same adjustment period.
It may also be that she is more confused and has been because her cognitive ability is declining and has been for a while it’s just that the move has exposed it more to you because the familiarity of where she was isn’t masking it anymore. Maybe a combo of both.
You are so spot on with your message. She lived with me for 5 years and in those years had the exact same schedule every single day. I think that routine did mask her decline and it did not become obvious until she was forced to learn a new environment. Unfortunately, I moved her one week into the transition from memory care to a secure ALF, because the patients in memory care were nonverbal. She is confused but can have a conversation. She knows me very well. I am hoping this new room will become comfortable for her as soon as possible. She seemed to be getting comfortable with the first room she was in. She was just very disturbed by the condition of the other patients.
Anyway, your feedback was so accurate. Thank you for sharing your expertise. Now, the hard part. Visiting but letting the professionals do their job,
If time permits try to spend as much time with your mom as possible in her new environment to help her acclimate to this new normal. (I live in NY but opted to stay for 3 months in Canada to get them over the hump and found that it also assisted with getting the staff familiar with our family) Best of luck to you and glad you found this site. There are wonderful people here that are happy to offer up pearls of wisdom while you go through this trying period!
Generally on AgingCare it is oft remarked upon how much routine means for someone with any level of dementia.
You will learn soon enough if another level of care is needed; I suspect that your Mom will adjust a lot over one month's time and hope you'll update us.
She may improve a bit or a lot.
She needs to get to know her way around and get to know the people that she can depend on.
Once she does that I am sure she will maintain that as a "baseline" for now, until a natural decline occurs.
(wonderful thing about dementia, ya just never know what will cause a decline and things that you would think would cause one don't and others do)
I would wait it out and see what happens.
As long as she is unable to leave the facility on her own that is the important thing and one of the reasons I am hesitant about AL for people with dementia.
It may also be that she is more confused and has been because her cognitive ability is declining and has been for a while it’s just that the move has exposed it more to you because the familiarity of where she was isn’t masking it anymore. Maybe a combo of both.
Anyway, your feedback was so accurate. Thank you for sharing your expertise. Now, the hard part. Visiting but letting the professionals do their job,