My mom has mild dementia. She has HHA 12 hours a day 7 days a week. How much money should I give for a Christmas tip?

Mild dementia, and you've got 12 hours' assistance seven days a week?

What exactly are these ladies doing? - I'm especially wondering how the weekend aide can be useless at it, I suppose, because I'm not at all sure what they would have to do all day.

What do you mean by "hinting" about a $500 tip?

Admittedly I'm coming at this from the angle of a public service provider who wouldn't - and is forbidden to anyway - accept gifts or hospitality of any sort from a client; so perhaps that's a bit more puritanical than is necessary in your mother's situation. But assuming these workers are adequately paid and therefore don't actually rely on additional money at Christmas, $500 seems a heck of a lot. What do you really want this tip to say to them?

They WILL compare notes. You are going to have to give them the same, or at least the same pro rata (so a squidge more for the Monday to Friday lady), or you certainly will cause bad feeling.

Are there many HHAs at work in your mother's neighbourhood? I'm also wondering if the hinty girl has been influenced by other HHAs in the area - maybe it's become the accepted norm in the local jobs market, or something like that.

Tips are gratuities IN ADDITION TO SALARY given for outstanding service. They are to be determined by YOU, and you alone. It's quite some nerve for care givers to be telling YOU how much THEY should be given for a tip at Christmas!

The weekend aide should be let go if she's useless, never mind given a 'tip'. I'd give her the following tip: Do a better job as a caregiver to your clients and maybe THEN you will get a gratuity.

Why reward a poor worker? It minimizes those who DO work hard. A tip is supposed to be a free-will gift that the worker "earns". The hinting sounds awful...how "de classe". That being said, you must weigh the consequences if the poor worker finds out she/he got less but then again if they bring it up you have the opportunity to give them a "review" of their quality of work and where they can improve. I've had employees for 38 years and this is how I see it. They get bonuses based on exceptional performance, not just showing up and doing what they are paid to do.

ARe they through an agency?  Have you told them weekend person useless?   I would give weekday person one week.

I don't see how you can gift one aide a pretty substantial gift and not the other.

Are they private hires or agency? Most agencies have strict no-tip policies. BUT...there are ways to work around that. My client's family had 2 lawyers in it and they routinely tipped me out, monthly, as they felt (rightly so) that $9 an hour was offensive as a wage.

You're treading some deep waters. Even if you aren't a huge fan of the weekend CG, you better believe they will find out if the other CG gets a bigger tip and that could result in a real mess.

I'd say tip the same or not at all.